Harry Potter and the Order of the Alchemists
by Siv the Fish
Summary: Edward has finally found the 'magical' solution in finding the philosopher's stone, at Hogwarts. But between helping Mustang's crew seek out a magical recruit and Umbridge's meddling things become frustrating. If only Ed had someone to talk to...
1. The Die has been Cast

First and foremost I don't give a flying (rhymes with duck) about the "accuracy" of the FMA and HP worlds. This is fanfiction...ALL fanfiction is AU...get over it. Now all positive feedback and criticism will be taken to heart. Also I tried to spell everyone's name right I swear.

Dumbledore gave an all too common nod of understanding. He was sitting at his desk in his favorite place in the world, Hogwarts. The light from the setting sun made his almost impossibly long, white hair glitter in its waning light. Leaning forward the headmaster rested his elbows on the highly polished surface of his desk; knitting his fingers carefully, his gaze intensified, watching his guest with keen attention.

"We both know the Dark Lord will be coming after the school Dumbledore; there is no doubt about that. What I'm suggesting will benefit both of us in our causes," the warm, friendly voice rumbled from one of the guest chairs.

Dumbledore leaned even further forward, chin now resting firmly on his woven digits, an unreadable expression masking his face. The rooms only other occupant took this lack of response as a sign to continue.

"One branch head and his officers to patrol this entire school…..three or four units maybe at the bare minimum, but just the one is asking a bit much even of the best, don't you think headmaster? Please be reasonable!"

"As honored as I am by your concern for the well-being of my students, our teachers aren't incompetent. I do not deem it necessary to have more guards than staff, even in these troubled times" reasoned Dumbledore with an acknowledging tilt of his head. A heavy pause stretched out between them as the sky outside began to blacken, creating dark shadows all around. Several candles flickered to life on the stone walls, banishing the darkness and casting a warm, almost cozy glow about the room.

"If I cannot dissuade you then may I at least suggest an extra Alchemist, just in case?" Dumbledore's eyes closed for a brief moment before opening again with a resigned sigh.

"Very well, but first term starts September 1st and I expect to have a complete list of both the Alchemists and the officers," stated the older man firmly.

Flashing a bright smile, the rooms' other occupant rose to his feet and bowed respectfully.

"It's been a pleasure dealing with you Dumbledore."

"Same here, King Bradley."

The sun had finally set.

**Eastern Headquarters**

Roy Mustang despised being manipulated by his higher ups, but this was ridiculous! When he and his team were transferred from Central to the Eastern branch he thought things couldn't get much worse.

'Good thing I sent Fullmetal out here before me or the situation would have been intolerable' thought Roy allowing a smirk to slide across his handsome features. A small chuckle escaped him as the door to this office swung open to admit a most unexpected guest. All eyes swung to the doorway as the Fuhrer walked sedately into the crowded office. In a small flurry Mustang and his officers all snapped to attention and saluted their leader, who gave a nod of acknowledgment to his subordinates.

"To what do I owe this honor Fuhrer?" Roy asked, a slight edge of apprehension in his voice.

"Congratulations Colonel Mustang, you and your staff are being transferred."

Hope swelled in the Flame's chest, 'Could it be they would finally be going back to Central?' the thought raced over and over in the Colonel's head, a twinge of hope sparked and raised his spirits as the Fuhrer's secretary stepped forward to hand Mustang a brown folder.

"Good luck Colonel," and as quickly as they had appeared, the Fuhrer and his secretary departed leaving Mustang and his close knit group rigid in their salutes. The sharp click of the heavy wooden door closing signaled a sudden exhale and relaxing of posture for each of them, as all eyes turned to Mustang he opened the mission folder. The level of curiosity spiked as their commander's eyebrows shot upwards and his hands began to shake with indignation. Finally Lieutenant Havoc worked up enough courage to ask as the others gulped nervously.

"What is it chief?"

"Guard duty!" Spat Roy flinging the file onto Hawkeye's desk, each word dripping with ice cold fury.

**Rockbell Automail, Risembool **

**A few days later…..**

"One...two..three!" Counted Winry as she cranked the wrench to tighten the attachment bolt on Ed's right arm. His eyes grew wide for a second as he clenched his jaw; a small noise of pain escaped him as his mechanic wiped her brow on her sleeve. Auntie Pinako just finished setting out tea and cookies for them while Al polished his chest plate at the end of the table with a faded blue rag.

"I didn't know automail could attract so much sand. Honestly Ed, it's a miracle none of it worked its way into the port or your arm didn't just stop working," grumbled the blond girl to the now panting State Alchemist.

'Sand, desert, Liore, Rose, disappointment'

The memory of their best lead so far being _another _fake stone dampened the teen's spirits, 'Will we ever be whole again?'

"Ed?" a slightly annoyed voice jerked his attention back to reality.

"What?"

"I asked when you're going back to Eastern." stated Winry from her place now opposite him at the table. Ed gave a chuckle as he reached out for the steaming mug in front of him.

"Maybe in a couple of days. The longer I don't have to see that man's dumb ass smirk the better," he chuckled before talking a sip of his tea. A peaceful silence had settled over the small family of misfits when Den began to announce the arrival of visitors. Auntie Pinako got up to see who it was, chiding for the noisy dog to be quiet. Ed was just reaching for a cookie as the old woman snarled at the open door.

"What are you doing here?" Pinako said sharply closing the door as the dark haired Colonel stepped past her and into the room.

"Sorry to interrupt but I have important information for Fullmetal." Mustang walked further into the room and seated himself at the simple wooden table still littered with the remnants of their tea. Heated glares from the room's occupants bored into him but, being in the military he was used to it; that didn't mean he liked it.

"This mission will take a year to complete," Roy prompted glancing over at the tall suit of armor further down the table "and I'm sorry Alphonse but you are to remain here, you cannot accompany Edward this time nor can you know the details of this assignment."

"WHAT!" as Roy expected, Ed exploded at the news.

"Brother…." Al stood up to make sure his brother didn't do something rash.

"Quiet!" The solid ring of authority silenced the two boys. Pinako looked at the seated Colonel as she puffed quietly on her pipe nose curling in distaste; Winry looked close to tears but kept her peace nervously biting her lip. Sighing at the tense, almost frightened atmosphere, Roy looked around the room before his eyes came to rest once again on Ed.

"I know we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things Ed, but this time I really need you to work with me."

"And why would I do that, _Colonel_? Asked the teen stressing the older man's title. Roy thought for a minute, choosing his words very carefully before speaking again.

"Because something tells me this particular mission will benefit both of us."

Ed perked up, all disappointment from his previous mission vanishing as the passionate flame that drove him forward, reignited in his eyes.

"You leave at 8.45am tomorrow morning when you'll be fully briefed on this assignment, make sure you're ready." He nodded to Pinako and Winry and swept out of the room, very much like the Fuhrer had left his office, leaving the occupants standing in disbelief and shock. No-one made a sound; a car could be heard pulling away but it too faded to silence.

"You're not really going to leave Al for a whole year, are you Ed?" Winry continued to chew her lip as she quietly watched Ed as he stood staring at the floor, his blond bangs hiding his face. Deep down she already knew the answer to her question but still she had to hear it from him.

"What do you think?" he growled not looking up "

Al bowed his head, a whole year; he wouldn't see his brother for a whole year.

"Brother…"

Ed looked up at his little brother; they both knew that those twelve months would be more like twelve years to each other.

"I have to follow orders, I can't look back Winry; I have to keep walking forward"

Aunt Pinako took a slow drag from her pipe looking at the morose faces in front of her.

"At least they aren't sending you off to war Ed." She sighed blowing out a cloud of smoke.

Thanks for all the wonderful help: Krows Scared I sorry about my stubbornness and total lack of grammar skills. To think I want to be an English major...Emos in corner


	2. The Briefing

**Read chapter one again! **

I rewrote the Resembool section and now things make a little more sense and are now grammatically correct. Also I took out the milk scene and added another part. If you have no idea what I'm talking about ignore this and continue reading.

I figured by the time they actually started towards Hogwarts Black Hayate would have been found.

* * *

"_I have to follow orders, I can't look back Winry; I have to keep walking forward" _

_Aunt Pinako took a slow drag from her pipe looking at the morose faces in front of her._

"_At least they aren't sending you off to war Ed." She sighed blowing out a cloud of smoke._

It was safe to say that sleep didn't come easily to Ed that night and the next morning proved to be even tougher. He had to leave the comfort and companionship of his brother for a whole year, but as always he had to move forward. Al fussed quietly as Ed hugged the suit of armor that housed his brothers' precious soul. Breaking apart Ed hefted his case and started off down the road, looking back and waving with his automail hand to the three figures standing on the steps. It felt odd not hearing Al's heavy footfalls at his side and a hollow feeling set up residence in his chest as his feet took him unerringly towards the train station in the early morning light.

As he wandered onto the platform deep in thought he was roused from his reverie by a firm, clipped voice from behind.

"Edward over here!" Ed whirled around so fast his braid smacked him in the face, bringing tears to his left eye, which he quickly wiped away, scowling. Standing at the station's main entrance was a tall blond woman in military blue who smiled kindly at him and beckoned him over to a glaringly country worn city car.

Returning the smile in kind, Ed jogged over and before he could even open his mouth to ask the question she began to answer.

"The Colonel found it easier to conduct business this way," she informed him sharply, tone signaling that any further information would not be forthcoming from her. Ed blinked a good three times before giving a hesitant, nod of assent. It was six miles to the nearest and only Inn in Resembool, and the silence that filled the car on the journey didn't seem to make it any closer. Ed lounged on the comfortable leather seat and stared out the window in silence as the car bumped along the country roads which, in the small farming community, were more like dirt tracks. After what seemed like an eternity to Edward they pulled up outside the peeling, forest green painted Inn. Hawkeye lead him past the balding, stuttering innkeeper to the second floor where Roy Mustang was waiting for him in ae tiny tearoom filled with little tables and chairs. In the corner, beside a somewhat grimy, lace curtained window, the dark haired Colonel was slouched into one of the chairs, legs crossed and hands folded neatly in front of his face, head bowed in deep thought.

Ed quirked an eyebrow but remained uncharacteristically silent as he took a seat opposite his superior, leaning one elbow on the small table separating them. Hawkeye remained at the door guarding against any unexpected entrants.

"Fullmetal, I ask you to please remain silent until I have completely briefed you on this mission. Some of the things I'm about to tell you will seem impossible and unreal but I need you to bear with it without your usual display of ire. Do I have your word that you will listen and not leave the room until I have finished?" the Colonel surveyed the blond alchemist over his fingers, noting the dark circles under the boy's golden eyes.

"Alright spill-it! I'll listen," snapped the irritated teen folding his arms and leaning back into the hard wooden seat, already tired of the older man's games.

Taking a deep breath the Flame Alchemist drew himself up in his seat, stern authority now radiating from his previously languid stance; he looked Edward Elric directly in the eye. Ed gulped imperceptibly. This did not bode well.

"Our assignment is to guard an exclusive boarding school in the country of Scotland" started the superior officer picking up the mission folder from his lap and sliding it over towards Ed who, slightly confused, proceeded to look over the documents contained inside.

"What does the military want with a bunch of rich brats?" asked Ed not looking up from the crisp, typed sheets as he continued to read and listen to Mustang at the same time.

"The students at this particular school aren't your run-of-the-mill brats." Roy paused, eyes still locked on the seated alchemist before him, "the Fuhrer believes that healthy ties to these establishments will provide an advantage in any future military altercations and possibly new recruits for the military itself," he leaned back again, seemingly relaxed and looking as if he were merely remarking on the weather. Ed didn't reply as he quickly finished reading the rest of the information. Quietly, face blank, he pushed the report back over to the watching Colonel. A crash sounding from outside the door had the two seated officers looking sharply at the doorway as Lieutenant Hawkeye drew her gun and went to investigate the noise. Attention back in the room Ed looked up at Roy with his usual rebellious expression, sensing the impending question Roy quickly added-

"We'll be living on campus and eating in the Mess Hall with the staff as well as the children," Roy sighed shifting again in his seat "a seven-foot, hollow suit of armor would cause unnecessary panic and unwanted questions: you know this." Ed mulled over the information carefully, a stony exterior hiding conflicting emotions. With a sigh he slumped back into his chair, defeated. Hawkeye quietly re-entered the room, gun nowhere in sight, nodding the all safe at the Colonel.

"So when are we going? I know we missed the train."

Riza let her usual poker-faced expression slip into a small smile of relief as Roy straightened himself and settled into his normal 'I'm-so-awesome' mode. The storm had been avoided, thank goodness.

"Our ride is coming at nine-thirty. The rest of the crew is in the dinning area downstairs if you wish to join them for breakfast; if you haven't already eaten."

"I'll be downstairs" announced the blond alchemist standing up. He cast a thoughtful look back at his superior before leaving Roy and Riza alone. Hawkeye stared over at her commanding officer as if she didn't recognize him.

"You're being nicer than usual today, sir." The amusement could be heard in her voice despite her usual steely expression. (Wouldn't you just love to steal that line from the new Harry Potter film "Who are you and what have you done with Roy Mustang?!" LOL. It just wouldn't fit Riza's character in this fic but it's still funny.)

"We'll be living with each other for the next 12 months, so we may as well at least try to get along." With a resigned sigh, Roy Mustang massaged his face with both hands before letting out a tired groan. This was going to get messy.

**In the Dining Room**

Jean Havoc, Heymans Breda and Vato Falman were all busily tackling their various breakfasts of choice at a long table on one side of the large open dining room. Kain Fuery was half hidden by a small table at the front containing various condiments as he knelt down to tend to something on the floor. Havoc was the first one to notice Ed's entrance and greeted the superior officer with a smirk.

"Morning Chief, ready for the mission?" he asked a little too brightly, looking up from sunny side up eggs and bacon; ever present cigarette hanging precariously from the right side of his mouth. Next to him Falman didn't even bother to glance up from the book propped against a milk jug as he masterfully fed himself oatmeal without spilling a drop or taking his eyes from the book. Breda was too busy glaring in Kain's direction and fidgeting nervously to even notice Edward or the untouched hotcakes on his plate. Slightly concerned about the man's cold sweat and generally terrified expression Ed sat opposite Breda and grabbed a small loaf from the basket.

"What's his problem?" he asked before tearing into the still warm baked bread. Without breaking his gaze Vato answered.

"He has cynophobia: An abnormal and persistent fear of dogs. Sufferers of this fear experience anxiety even though they realize that most dogs pose no threat. To avoid dogs, they may barricade yards or refuse to travel except in an enclosed vehicles." Ed stopped chewing to stare at the tall grey haired man incredulously.

"How can anyone be afraid of dogs? It's just a puppy," Fuery's quiet voice floated up from the floor before the man himself appeared with a tiny yin yang colored puppy.

"Just keep that vicious, blood-thirsty beast way from me!" growled the larger man through his teeth while he shifted further away from the end of the table as if he was going to be attacked. Narrowing his eyes and with a scowl of annoyance Ed continued eating.

They had all just finished eating (Heymans never did start) just as Hawkeye and Mustang joined their lovely mismatched little group.

"Glad to see everyone has had something to eat before we leave. Remember, this mission is vital to the future of our country so we must all give 100 per cent commitment! In your case Fullmetal that means being on your best behavior or there _will_ be consequences." The Colonel warned using a tone that not even Ed dared talk back to.

"Your ride is here Mr. Mustang," the innkeeper interrupted poking his head into the silent dining room. For the first time in an age, a tight ball of anticipation settled itself in Ed's chest, helping to fill the void caused by the absence of his brother.

"Everyone grab your things and fall out"

* * *

No I didn't die. writing the first part depressed me ok?! Besides I still have a lot of very important decisions ti make. Like who lives and who dies...(in the fic that is.) To my beta reader I give my thanks. 


	3. Tour de Hogwarts

I feel loved. T.T My older works need well, work. So I don't understand why people alert me when I update rather than just having an alert when this particular story updates...Boggles my mind really.

One OC...I feel so dirty. (Siv hates Ocs) Also the little names are cheesy but they are my names for those groups so back off.

**DISCLAIMER**

There will be no RoyxEd nor will there be HermionexEd either. (shivers at the very thought of both) Shonen-ai will happen in a separate version but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. Sips Starbucks drink from SlashnYaoi Back to work I suppose.

* * *

The scraping of chairs and shuffling of baggage filtered through the air as the men pulled their belongings out from under the table. Fuery managed to balance the puppy in his left hand as he maneuvered his bulging pack onto his back. Havoc pulled out one of his ever present cigarettes and flicked it into his mouth with careless ease. 

Feeling like an outsider in the tightly knit group Ed followed the herd outside the inn to the muddy road. The sight he beheld stopped him short and he stared, mouth slightly agape.

Right smack dab in the middle of the muddy country road a woman stooped examining something in the muddied dirt track. This was not just any woman though; she was wearing a bright raspberry colored set of voluminous robes and a crooked purple, pointed hat. The colors clashed viciously with the surrounding countryside making her seem very out of place. When she spotted the group coming outside she straightened up and smoothed down the front of her robe, face twisted with a look of disgruntlement.

Golden blond eyebrows crawled up, almost disappearing into bushy bangs as Ed sneaked a sideways glance at the others to confirm if they too were seeing this odd woman. From Fuery to Mustang, lowest rank to highest, they stood to military attention, unmoving. Giving a half-hearted, nervous chuckle Ed looked back at the woman now making her way towards the group. Her long, brown, spiral ended ponytail swished as she marched over to Mustang, who stepped forward to meet her partway. Giving her a charming smile the Colonel held out his hand in greeting. Taking a deep breath the strange woman copied Mustangs gesture before starting her speech.

"Good morning I'm Madame Melody from the Portkey Division. You are Colonel Mustang I presume."

"Yes. Thank you for meeting us way out here," he replied warmly turning up the charm a little more almost making Edward gag.

"It's no problem really," she replied dully as if not noticing the very handsome man smiling at her. Bored with the small talk she withdrew her hand and stuffed it into one of the front pockets on her oddly colored outfit. Finding what she was searching for after a few moments she pulled out a brown, leather bound journal very much like the one Ed kept for his alchemy notes.

"Everyone touch the book. One finger is really all that's necessary for it to work," she instructed holding it out a little further for them all to gather around. Wordlessly the six uniformed officers crowded around the journal like mindless sheep, all had one finger pressed firmly on the worn surface. Ed decided he was done being jerked around and had finally had enough.

"You have got to be kidding me." He scoffed crossing his arms as he shifted all his weight onto his automail leg. Seven pairs of eyes stared at him as if he were mad.

"Is there a problem Fullmetal?" Asked Mustang from his odd stooped position, index finger still planted on the black lacing on the bound book. In that pose he didn't seem as threatening so Ed decided to push his luck.

"Yeah, you're all crowded around that book looking ridiculous!" Snapped back the teen hotly, no one makes a fool out of Edward Elric! With Ed's reply the Flame Alchemists' sharp black eyes narrowed dangerously and Ed suddenly knew he was in trouble.

"Five seconds," warned the odd woman boredly. For some odd reason Ed's heart rate increased dramatically.

"Four, three, two-"

"EDWARD!" Screamed a voice, startling him into action as instinct took over, launching himself forward just in time to grasp the journal.

An unearthly strong pull from his mid-section yanked Ed forward as his booted feet were lifted from the ground. A whirlwind of color and sound howled around him. Golden eyes widened as the memories from 'that' day clouded his mind's eye. A similar whirlwind of chaos and confusion imprisoned the terrified brothers. Al reaching as far as he could only to be snatched away at the last second by the void.

"Fullmetal!" Colonel Mustang called out sharply from overhead. Ed opened his eyes with a groan to see worn stone centimeters from his face. He blinked for a few seconds trying to think how he'd ended up on the floor before pushing himself to his hands and knees. Surveying his surroundings carefully he noticed they were inside of what appeared to be an ancient castle like from the books his mother read to him.

"What the hell was that?!" Asked the teen to no one in particular as he began to stand up. Glancing around he was happy to see he wasn't the only one who'd had a bad trip. The puppy shook violently in Fuery's arms as the man himself adjusted his glasses. Havoc was wide eyed, cancer stick hanging loosely on his lips. Roy was running his hand through his normally messy locks as if to soothe his nerves a little. Oblivious to her traveling companions disquiet the bizarrely dressed woman piped up again.

"Headmaster Dumbledore is waiting for you just beyond those doors," she stated pointing towards a set of heavy, iron bound wooden doors only a few feet away. "I'd love to stay and chat" her tone indicated the complete opposite, "but with the new arrangements this year I must be off. Good day." With that she was gone.

Still thoroughly confused as to what had actually just happened Ed stood clutching his suitcase when the large doors creaked open. He must have hit his head when they arrived because there was no way all this could be real…..could it? Now, standing in front of him with a long luminous white beard and hair, dressed in royal purple robes, studded with twinkling silver stars stood an old man; the epitome of a wizard from one of his mothers stories, complete with little crescent shaped spectacles. He had to be a wizard there was no other explanation for the man's unusual and outrageous appearance nor the aura of power he seemed to radiate

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" the man boomed; arms open welcomingly to the half stunned troupe "I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of this great establishment". Mustang moved to introduce himself and the group but was forestalled by the Headmasters' raised hand.

"I already know who you are Colonel Mustang, now if you'll follow me I'll give you a short tour before lunch," the old man beckoned them with a friendly wave of his hand. The uneasy shuffling of Ed's co-workers signaled that once again they were being lead like obedient cattle, making Ed slightly uneasy. Seeing the slightly grumpy look on Mustang's face at the gentle rebuttal from the old man did make him feel slightly better however.

For the second time that day Ed brought up the rear of this odd assortment of talent, watching everything they passed. They were lead into what appeared to be the assembly hall of the school. Six tables fit snuggly into the giant halls' interior. Dumbledore launched into an explanation, the long fabric of his sleeves jumping and swaying almost hypnotically with each hand gesture.

"This is the Great Hall. An assembly hall come cafeteria if you will. The four student tables are assigned according to each of the four Houses, which I will explain to you later." He continued to lead them between the student tables up towards the large dais at the front. "As you might have guessed this is the staff table. Myself and the other members of the staff are seated here, and that," he pointed towards a much smaller table off to the left side of the dais "is your table. For the first night of term I would like you to be seated according to rank to help the students identify you better. This also means wearing your uniforms," he added glancing meaningfully at Ed's red and black outfit before winking cheekily at the blond. Still completely dazed from his trip and the bombardment of all this new and impossible information, Ed didn't react.

"Now if you follow me to the first floor I will show you to your sleeping arrangements." In file they all followed the strange old man, surprised at the briskness of his walk toward the double doors. Once out of the Great Hall they trekked silently down a long ancient hallway, listening to the rhythmic sounds of their boots on the stone floor beneath them. Ignoring the others Ed ran his flesh hand through his braided hair to search for the nonexistent lump on his head. This was a cruel, cruel dream that refused to end. Something dark fluttered at the corner of his eye and he stopped suddenly to look. As if sensing Ed's unease Dumbledore stopped as well. He turned towards the young alchemist with a look of mild puzzlement and interest.

"Is something the matter?" He asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. Ed didn't answer as he stared hard into the spot where he swore he saw something move. Unfortunately all that inhabited the space was an old painting of, well, nothing. It was as if something were missing from the painting itself.

"Fret not, some things may seem odd or intimidating, but I assure you nothing in this school will hurt you." The headmaster peered at Ed briefly over the top of his spectacles before turning to proceed with the tour. Still not convinced Ed shot the painting a last hard look before scurrying after them. It wasn't long before they reached their door marked 'Hogwarts Headquarters'.

Pushing the door open yet another hall way greeted them and curiosity won over Ed's temporary state of paranoia. A decent sized hallway stretched before the group, with lit candles intermittently spaced between seven closed doors. Each door had a blank, bronze plate that shone brightly in the flickering candlelight. Dumbledore stepped into the new passageway and opened the door to their immediate right. Peering inside Ed saw a very military style setup inside; two beds with two wooden work tables and two chests of drawers.

"We heavily debated whether or not you'd be comfortable with our usual décor and decided that the style may be a bit too much of a culture shock for you." Dumbledore chuckled lightly as if he'd made a joke. Taking his hand off the door handle the Headmaster turned back to the impassive faces of his new guards and folded his arms behind his back.

"We'll continue our tour further after lunch, but for now please make yourselves at home. Colonel Mustang I'll leave the assignments to you" he said peering all-knowingly at the younger man. Nodding in acknowledgment Roy turned to his subordinates, who perked up anxious to know who they would be forced to stare at for the next ten months.

"Alright let's stay within jobs; Fuery, Falman-door behind you." Both men saluted at their name and turned to enter their appointed room. To everyone's shock before they could open the door black lettering appeared on the once blank plaque.

**Vato Falman and Kain Fuery**

Quickly overcoming their shock the Information Team entered the room and began to unpack. Havoc and Breda where placed to the right of the Info Team as the Patrol Squad; their names too appeared suddenly on the plaque attached to the door. Hawkeye and Fuery's puppy where placed across the ways from them and finally the Alchemists were bunked together causing Ed much inner turmoil but, for now he kept his mouth shut. The shock of magic was very quickly wearing off at the thought of sharing a room with the bastard Mustang for a year. Entering his new room Ed shoved his suitcase haphazardly under the bed and giving a loud, exhausted sigh he fell fully clothed and face first onto his pillow. Sorting through all that had happened Ed lay unmoving as the sounds of Mustang unpacking in the background lulled him into a relaxed state.

Brilliant gold eyes snapped open as Edward shot up suddenly off the bed. A small chuckle sounded to his right and Ed was dismayed to see the Flame Alchemist smirking smugly at him. Judging by the papers taped to the wall and the books on one of the worktables he had obviously fallen asleep. Slightly embarrassed Ed swung his mismatched legs off the bed to rest on the cold floor. Wait cold floor?

Surprised the blond looked down to see that his boots had been removed.

'Must have taken them off before I fell asleep,' he reasoned as a knock sounded at the door and opened slightly to reveal a surprisingly chipper Jean Havoc.

"That Dumbledore fella says its lunch time," he informed them before disappearing, leaving the door ajar. Pulling his boots back on Ed followed Mustang out of the door and joined the rest of the group heading back to the Great Hall.

* * *

Bet you were expecting something clever...or maybe a desperate plead for review huh? Not me dangit! Reviews and such are nice but I don't need them. I would like answers for the question I posted at the top though...it's confusing me people. Remember my Beta is God! 


	4. Finishing Touches

Siv speak:

This is the real chapter four. Ideas are always welcome. For the last time _**this**_ version has no Yaoi! I will have a more shonen-ai version linked in later chapters. Roy and Ed have a father/son relationship only going on here. I know it's taking forever to get the good parts but this necessary. This story will be novel length when I am through.

_--_

_Surprised the blond looked down to see that his boots had been removed._

_'Must have taken them off before I fell asleep,' he reasoned as a knock sounded at the door and opened slightly to reveal a surprisingly chipper Jean Havoc._

"_That Dumbledore fella says its lunch time," he informed them before disappearing, leaving the door ajar. Pulling his boots back on Ed followed Mustang out of the door and joined the rest of the group heading back to the Great Hall._

---

In the Great Hall they took their respective spots in a 'cats cradle' formation according to rank. Colonel Mustang, was across from Ed t Hawkeye in front of Havoc and so on. Oddly enough there was a man sized hole in front of Lt. Hawkeye . Everything felt strangely 'off', as if he had fallen asleep in the back of the military rental car and was merely dreaming all this. Maybe he was so worked up about leaving Alphonse behind that he didn't realize he had fallen asleep while the others ate breakfast. It seemed not ten minutes ago they where eating back in Resembool.

'Speaking of food where is it?' Ed queried silently, turning his head towards the empty serving dishes in front of him. With a hollow pop, food seemed to burst forth from thin air into the platters before them. Fuery gasped and the seven blinked hard for a second before commencing to fill up their plates with the various dishes. Maybe magic was going to take a little longer than they thought to get used to, but Ed could definitely get used to this!

----

When everyone had eaten their fill and sat back contentedly in their large wooden seats the headmaster entered and walked sedately over to them.

"I see our food is well received," Dumbledore smiled and pulled out one of the spare chairs from the end of the table. "Now I promised you a further explanation as to how the school works I believe. I will answer any questions you have in due course." Everyone shuffled into a comfortable position and listened intently. "Now, the four long tables you see down there are allocated to the four houses the students are sorted into. The names are taken from the four witches and wizards who founded the school and established the houses using their names. They are Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Each house has certain characteristics that were valued above all others to each founder member. Helga Hufflepuff was loyal, honest and hardworking; Rowena Ravenclaw was sharp of mind, wise and creative; Godric Gryffindor had courage, determination and strength of heart, and finally Salazar Slytherin who was ambitious, resourceful and cunning. Each student's house can be identified by the colors on the uniform. Hufflepuff yellow and black, Ravenclaw dark blue and silver, Gryffindor deep red and gold, and Slytherin green and silver. At the end of each year we award the House Cup to whichever house has collected the most points. These points are given for good work and deeds and taken away for misdemeanors and rule breaking"

At this point Havoc began snickering loudly. Noticing everyone's stares the tobacco addict stopped.. Ed pointedly ignored him.

"So, what age range are we looking at and what rules are already in place that we need to know about." Mustang leaned forward on his elbows as he spoke. "Also can you either show us or have somebody give us a tour of where the students sleep, the classrooms and the immediate area outside the school, any forbidden areas and so forth. So we can get a feel for the area before the students arrive."

Ed looked across at Mustang as he munched thoughtfully on an apple left over from lunch, this wasn't the Bastard Colonel he was used to; this man looked and sounded like he knew what he was doing.

"I will ask my deputy, Professor McGonagall to see to it but I'm afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow. The children are between the ages of 10 and 18 . The forbidden forest is off-limits to all students and curfew is 10pm, at which time all students are to stay in their individual house dormitories," Dumbledore stood up as he spoke "for now I'm afraid I must take my leave but please feel free to explore. If you need to send any messages, I have set aside three of our school owls for your use," when he received seven identical blank stares he elaborated. "All you need to do is go to the owlery with your message, attach it to the leg of the owl and instruct it where you want the message to go and it will be delivered." He smiled at the expressions on the various faces. "They are highly intelligent creatures," he chuckled again and left the room.

---

They had twenty-four hours to turn the messy box ridden office at the end of their corridor into a fully functioning workplace. So when Ed sat there bored, at an empty desk and tapping out a rhythm with a pen as the others shuffled around franticly cleaning and moving furniture around, it seemed like a good idea to go search for the library. When even the normally timid Kain Fuery starts to glare at you, you know it's bad. So here Ed was about three floors up from where he started, completely lost.

Heaving a frustrated sigh Ed thrust his gloved hands into the pockets of his red overcoat.

"It can be frustrating! But don't give up dear," coaxed a painting of a fat lady wearing a pink silk dress. She smiled brightly while her companion in the painting took a sip of tea; all the while Ed stared wide-eyed at them, mouth wide open. When her smile faded after a few seconds of staring Ed mentally kicked himself and regained his composure.

"Hey you wouldn't happen to know where I can send a letter would you?" asked Ed suddenly remembering that could write to Al about all this crazy nonsense and the Headmaster had said that he'd put aside owls, of all things, for them to send messages with.

"Certainly young man, the owlery is a few more floors up. It will be the only room on the top floor so you can't miss it," instructed the fat lady (left uncapitalized because its just describing her)(I would have done that too ) pointing upward as she spoke. Nodding in thanks Ed took off at a jog up the closest set of stairs, eager to rant about today's events and the fact that the paintings could talk and move.

A few floors turned into four more sets of giant staircases. Breathing hard Ed reached the very top floor only to have his already ragged breath taken away. Hundreds of owls, all shapes and sizes swooped and hooted whilst flying in and out of the glassless windows. Many owls where resting on the support beams overhead. One barn owl in particular noticed Ed and hooted happily as it took flight towards the alchemist. Ed took a wary step back as the bird landed on one of the many podiums littered throughout the large open room. To his surprise the creature stuck out its leg patiently as if waiting for him. Still watching the bird warily Ed reached into one of the inner pockets of his coat to pull out his notebook and a pen.

_Dear Alphonse,_

_I'm fine although the journey was more than a bit strange. I can't tell you much about the mission other than I'm in some weird castle, Colonel Bastard still hasn't told me where exactly and I have to share a room with him!_

_Apparently this is a private boarding school that needs the government's protection. This place is so bizarre, it's almost like traveling back in time sometimes, they don't have telephones and they use owls to deliver mail. I've just asked directions from a lady in a painting and the food appears out of nowhere (it is good though and you can eat as much as you want). _

_Right now the others are organizing our base of operations here but there's not much I can do so I came out to send you this letter after even Fuery glared at me! _

_I wish you could have come too, you'd love it and I miss having you to talk to. I'm going to go and find the library now, I'm sure they'll have something here on the Philosopher's stone._

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Your Big Brother _

_Edward _

Rolling up the page Ed transmuted a nearby stick into some twine and fastened the letter to the leg of the patiently waiting owl. Taking a step back to admire the beautifully marked Barn owl he gave it instructions.

"Take that to Alphonse Elric. He's in a place called Resembool so it might take a while; can you do that?" He asked the bird feeling rather foolish. Closing its eyes it gave a loud hoot as if it were insulted before taking flight in a silent burst of white feathers. Slightly bemused he watched it fly out the open window and then turned to leave. He stopped suddenly, realizing in dismay that he had no idea how to get back to their dorm.

----

Tired, confused and frustrated, Ed finally stood in front of the door to the room he shared with Mustang. He'd found the library, eventually, after getting more directions from strangely dressed people moving around in the paintings that covered the walls of the castle. Some were more helpful than others. There hadn't been time for more than a cursory glance at the many subjects in the large wooden book cases before a rather severe looking woman in dark robes and a pointed hat had glared down her nose at him and told him in no uncertain terms that the library was closed to students until the start of term. He'd thought about arguing but she continued to glare at him through the glasses perched on the end of her nose, reminding him disconcertingly of Hawkeye when Mustang was slacking off, and so he left. On his way back to the dorms he'd had to backtrack several times as staircases moved of their own accord. At one point he was getting so frustrated he almost alchemized a separate staircase of his own until a tall woman in green robes and hat, and with a strange accent gave him directions and warned him not to tamper with the stairs or she'd trans-something, he didn't quite catch the word, him into something unpleasant.

Glaring at the bronze nameplate as if to blame it for his problems Ed grabbed the handle to the dorm and made his entrance to a dark room. One hand still on the door handle Ed glanced to his left to see the sleeping form of the flame alchemist snoring quietly into his pillow. Slightly disappointed at not being able to at least annoy the man, Ed lit a lamp.

Bringing the lamp to full brightness he saw something shiny out of the corner of his eye. Waiting uniformly at the edge of their master's bed where Roy's freshly shined military boots. On the chair slightly pulled out was the man's recently washed and pressed uniform. Giving a wide, toothy yawn Ed looked to his own bed and spied something military blue on his desk. Too tired to deal with anything else Ed stripped down for bed and snuggled under the soft covers.

When Ed woke up Mustang had already left. Slipping out of bed he noticed a small hand written note on top of the blue square on his desk. Groaning in annoyance he pushed himself off the bed to investigate. The note read 'Wear this' in Roy's miserable scrawl. Glaring past the paper Ed sighed as his nightmare came true, a brand new, starched and pressed to the width of paper, lay his oddly square Major's uniform.

----------

Muttering furiously Ed re-adjusted the sleeves on his detested uniform for the hundredth time in the ten minute walk to breakfast. It was obviously some cruel twisted joke about his size to give him a uniform too big for him. At least the trousers weren't too long and he could tuck them into his boots. He had thought about alchemizing it to fit better but didn't know if there were any spares if something went wrong, he'd have to ask. All thoughts of revenge on the Colonel where gone once he entered the cafeteria. They weren't alone.

The staff table was packed solid with strangely dressed people of all different shapes and sizes all of whom were staring at him as he made his way towards the Military table. Taking his seat in front of Mustang, Ed felt their stares bore into him and he tried to ignore the skin crawling feeling it gave him. As soon as he'd sat down he was overwhelmed with a chorus of friendly morning greetings.

Helping himself to the still streaming rolls Ed leaned forward to whisper,

"Anyone else receive a warm welcome this morning or am I special?" He asked stabbing a sausage.

"We're military, Boss," replied the normally jolly voice of Breda before taking a swig of his morning joe. "I'd be shocked if they acted otherwise."

"Still, I wish they would try to make us feel a little more welcome," whined Kain softly, squirming in his seat from the harsh stares. Remembering all the times he'd been harassed for being in the military Ed took the answer quietly. Three rolls and four sausages later a shadow slunk over Ed as he ate. Cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk Ed looked up at his temporary employer. Ignoring the teen the silver haired headmaster addressed the six adults.

"Our staff has a few rules and regulations they would like to discuss with you before the term starts. Minerva-" He pointed to the woman wearing her steel gray hair in a tight bun, "will escort you to the staff room when you are finished eating and then on a short tour of the school and grounds as you requested." Dumbledore bowed slightly to Mustang before turning and drifting towards the double doors. Annoyed at being ignored and a little panicked at being left out Ed gulped down his mouthful, nearly choking, before shouting after the Headmaster.

"What about me?!" He yelled standing up. All eyes bored into Ed's back as Dumbledore turned to address the young blond with a smile.

"Ah yes, I almost forgot," he mused rummaging around inside his star studded robes. After a few seconds he withdrew a brand new, very thick, very large, brown, leather-bound book. He handed the tome to the now curious Edward who immediately glanced over the title.

"Hogwarts; a History?" He muttered before curling his left hand around his chin and settling himself back down in his chair, audience forgotten. Roy gave a light chuckle, impressed at the older mans insightful handling of Ed and turned to see bright eyes twinkling mischievously behind the half moon glasses.

"Good luck getting it back before he's done," Roy smirked.

Dumbledore merely waved his hand as if to waft smoke.

"Actually that book is for all of you" replied the old man cheerily before continuing towards and out through the double doors.

Minutes later the hall was empty, save for the small alchemist deeply engrossed in the large book.

**Lunch time**

"Apparating, talking hats, enchanted freaking ceiling-Ed had to look up when he read that part. How on earth could they have possibly missed that? Ed had reemerged from his mind blowing reading experience to see his military colleagues and superior stride into the Hall; all of them, except Hawkeye, looked dead on their feet.

"Where were you?" Asked Ed, slightly annoyed at himself for not even noticing them leave earlier. Roy dragged a hand upwards through his mussed hair in minor frustration before answering the annoying question.

"If you'd been paying proper attention earlier you would know that we had to go to a meeting covering the school rules for students, and for us. We now have a plan worked out acceptable to both staff and me," the Colonel sighed heavily, sinking down onto his seat and resting his arms on the table. "So, find out anything interesting in that book?"

Ed began to elaborate on the interestingly odd and intricate features of the school and its history. When Ed finished the other members of the group relayed the plan of action, including all their observations thus far and the seven debated back and forth to one another. They were still in discussion when lunch popped up in front of them and they began to eat as they talked never breaking the flow.

Ed paused for a moment watching and listening to the comments fly back and forth between Mustang and his loyal staff between bites of food. A warm sensation settled around him; it was an odd feeling, sitting there chatting with everyone albeit work related but, for the very first time, Ed actually felt a part of this unusual 'family'.

Lunch was followed by the Deputy Headmistress giving them a rundown of what exactly would be occurring that night at the welcome feast. Afterwards, the entire group went back to the office to put the finishing touches to their new work area. Ed thought he had somehow been transported back to Eastern Headquarters. Everything was exactly the same right down to the worn, brown leather sofa off to one side. Well it was almost perfect; the telephone that usually sat at the edge of Roy's desk was missing.

Ed chuckled to himself evilly at the image of Mustang screaming furiously because he now had to use owls, meaning yet more paperwork. It made this whole ordeal a lot more fun.

While Ed examined the room in amazement the others had already settled behind their desks. Blinking, Ed set down the book he was given earlier and took a seat at the partially empty desk across from Breda, in between Havoc and Fuery. The desk was nothing special and he couldn't remember ever even using an assigned desk before. The few items he was faced with were a wire tray in one corner and a small cubby hole containing a notebook and a few very new looking pens.

"The Fuhrer has issued us with orders to recruit at least one student of magic, into the Amestris Military this year. Failure is not an option," Mustang stated, breaking the silence as he stood behind his desk, hands clasped at his back and facing out of the narrow window.

The rooms other occupants glanced at each other in shock.

"Can a student of magic actually join the military, sir?" Asked Falman, disconcerted that the school and the Military would potentially allow children to join at such a young age. Ed of course, had been a major exception to the standard rule and most of them never really thought about it and treated him like a younger brother. Ed was an alchemic prodigy and a well seasoned fighter in hand-to-hand combat even before he joined the military. These children were obviously still that; children.

"The legal age to recruit from a school like this is sixteen unless the student shows remarkable promise," Roy's eyes shifted for a millisecond over Ed. "One about to graduate would be eligible to join up so that is the main section we will be targeting. If you notice anyone younger with outstanding abilities, report them to me, do not engage unless necessary; is that clear?"

A chorus of "**YES SIR**!" and a single muttered "_whatever_" answered his order and he turned to face them pulling out his watch to check the time.

"Its one o' clock now and the feast doesn't start until eight. Since this will be our first introduction to the student body we must take care to look our best. I would suggest that we all use the next few hours to make sure we look like Amestris Military. That means clean pressed uniforms, regulation hair and boots shiny enough to see my face. Dismissed!"

"I should go polish my boots," announced Kain getting up.

"I guess mine could use a good polish as well," sighed Jean as the unlit cigarette in his mouth continued to defy gravity.

"It's about time I fixed the clasp on my uniform," grumbled Haymans messing with his undone uniform top as he made his way out "Hey Riza, you got a needle and thread?.

"It's in my room and Black Hayate needs to fed and brushed before the feast," stated Riza making her way towards her room with Breda following. She was obviously planning on bring the puppy along with her tonight.

"I'm almost finished with my book," announced Vato suddenly as if he just remembered. Speaking of books that reminded Ed.

"Me too.." Ed started, rising from his chair.

"Fullmetal. Seeing as you missed the tour this morning I'll take you round now, you'll need to know certain areas. It should only take us about an hour, although…" Roy smirked and Ed tensed "with your short legs it may take longer."

The resulting explosive verbal outburst had the others rolling their eyes before getting back to their preparations.

Dressed in loose sweatpants and a t-shirt Edward Elric flopped down languidly onto the bottom of his bed with a 'huff', and lay there for a few minutes eyes closed in relaxation. His hair splayed out onto the blankets, still damp from the deliciously warm bath he'd just enjoyed. Opening his eyes he scooted further up to the head of the bed and propped himself against the wall using his pillow to soften the hard surface. He picked up the large leather book he'd been itching to get back to during the tour with Mustang and began to read again. Some of the facts mentioned in the book now made a lot more sense to Ed now that he'd actually seen the places mentioned. The tour had taken a little longer than they'd anticipated but they both arrived back at the dorm, intact, mostly. To Ed's dismay and Roy's relief, someone had set out clean, fresh uniforms for them and the implements for cleaning their boots to a high mirror-like shine.

At around four Roy entered the room, glancing at the relaxed looking teen sprawled on the bed. The Colonel sat at his desk, pulled out a sheet of paper and began a letter to his best friend Maes Hughes. As Mustang wrote Ed kept on reading totally oblivious to the scratching noises from Mustang's direction and the world around him.

At ten to seven they all met in the office for a mutual inspection. Ed had asked Hawkeye earlier about spare uniforms and on discovering that spares weren't a problem he quickly alchemized his uniform to a perfect fit, getting it right first time. Riza inspected them all and other than making Ed tie his hair up into a tighter braid and deftly flicking several spots of ash from Havoc's jacket they were pronounced ready at precisely seven o'clock.

Standing tall and proud and every inch the Amestran Colonel, Roy Mustang gathered his subordinates with a look and they all filed out into the corridor in silence and marched purposefully towards the Great Hall.

Once at their table they stood at ease, in order of rank as they'd been instructed. Ed stood in his place next to the Colonel and the First Lieutenant trying to stop his stomach from betraying his hunger in a loud embarrassing fashion. He felt like someone was watching him. The feeling intensified; unable to ignore it any longer he carefully turned his gaze slightly towards the staff table. A woman was eyeing him with interest and Ed suppressed a shiver when he got a good look at her. If a Chimera could look human then she'd be a prime candidate. He bit his lip and forced his expression to stay neutral. 'This is getting annoying' he thought as the minutes stretched out to what seemed like an eternity and he fought to keep his composure under the intense scrutiny. Suddenly with a groan and a muffled bang the double doors at the end of the hall opened wide

----

Done. The seating arrangement I got from the warehouse 13 episode.The reason there is a spot infront of Hawkeye is for a sense of balance, she just happens to be in the center. Thank you Krow. (Cries tears of joy)


	5. Of Feasts and First days

Writing this in a notebook is really annoying. After I jot it down I really don't want to type it up. Well I am done whining for now. I've always wanted to see a decently done Harry Potter Fullmetal crossover, but never found one (they are usually filled with romancey yaoiness). All I wanted was some good un-bias character interaction. Is that too much to ask?!

-----

_If a Chimera could look human then she'd be a prime candidate. He bit his lip and forced his expression to stay neutral. 'This is getting annoying' he thought as the minutes stretched out to what seemed like an eternity and he fought to keep his composure under the intense scrutiny. Suddenly with a groan and a muffled bang the double doors at the end of the hall opened wide _

At first there was only a small trickle of students, but it soon turned into a full blown crowd of chattering excited teens. All giggling and asking each other how their summers where. The crowd soon thinned as the last of the students filtered into the hall to sit at their assigned tables. The noise though didn't quiet as the military eight kept getting odd looks and whispers from behind hands. Impatience rising Ed shifted his weight onto his automail leg as the Hall's double doors swung open to reveal none other than Professor McGonagal followed by a trail of terrified first years.

Perking up slightly Ed straighten his posture, he had read about the sorting but very little was actually explained _how_ they were sorted. There was a flash of brown out the corner of Ed eyes. He turned just in time to see the wizen old janitor, Fitch or something like that, place a patched dirty brown hat on a very small stool. Peering at the strange new object Ed knew he wasn't the only one utterly baffled by its presence.

'What do they have to pull something out of it or what?' thought Ed semi-jokingly. Just as the large rip near the base of the hat began to move. No scratch that, it began to sing. Stiffen as he was excepting an attack Ed took a half step backwards. Mustang caught Ed's reaction out of the corner of his eye and glared meaningfully down at his subordinate. Covering up his embarrassment with glare of his own Ed stepped back into formation. Luckily the student body was too busy watching the hat to notice Ed's freaked out reaction. Three calming breaths later the hat had finished its little tune and the Hawkeye-like Professor cleared her throat pointedly.

"When I call your name please come sit on the stool, I'll place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted." She instructed very clearly to the shivering eleven-year-olds.

"Thats all?" Muttered Edward out loud. Mustang's reaction was careless shrug stating 'hey-whatever-works'. Getting bored of watching the children go one by one up to be sorted Ed stole a glance back towards the staff table. They were so different from the adults back home, like characters out a storybook. He noticed that there was a very angry looking man with pitch-black greasy looking hair, and a very hooked nose. A cheery looking woman who looked like she just got done playing in a flowerbed. Ed gave a dopey smile as he saw an extremely short little wizard perched on a pile of books to see over the table. Then he saw her, the woman from earlier. She looked like a cross between a dumpy aunt and a fat toad. Suppressing a shutter Edward looked forward just in time to see the last person be placed into a house.

The headmaster, Dumbledore stood up as the hall remained silent. Giving a loud throat clearing noise the man began to address the school.

"There is a time for tedious speeches but now is the time. Tuck in." Right before sitting down the headmaster turned his head and gave the military a quick nod. With that the group made to sit, and judging by the sighs of relief Ed wasn't the only one getting bored. Settling themselves into their seats his group waited patiently for the food to pop up. With a flurry of color and wonderful smell dinner was served. Ed's gold eyes scanned the table excitedly seeing as he never seen this much food in one play before. Deciding on a more Xingenese looking dish he reached out to help himself to some chicken and mushroom smothered in sauce. The second he grasped the silvery serving handle there was a loud terrified scream to his right. Dropping the metal handle with a clank Ed whirled towards the direction of the commotion his martial arts training taking over all his senses. Unfortunately (or was it fortunate) Ed stopped short with a sputter at the sight in front of him.

Floating right through the table was a pearly white ghost of a smiling monk. It leaned closer to the cowering Master Sgt and Warrant Officer. Ed still in is fighting pose didn't move a muscle. Sure from his reading he knew the place was haunted but he didn't think about actually meeting one up close like this.

"Having a good evening are we?" Asked the specter grinning from ear to ear despite the quivering soldiers in front of him. With a mostly unmanly squeak Kain buried his face into his room mate's arm. Poor Vato was simply too overwhelmed to even move. The world seemed to freeze for a second before a loud commanding voice rang out through the now silent hall.

"Stop scaring my subordinates!" All eyes even Ed's turned towards none other than Roy Mustang standing tall with an aura that radiated authority. The ghost monk blink a few times before turning his head back towards the still shaking Kain and Vato. He gave an apologetic bow and bit them good nigh before gliding down the table past Edward. As Edward followed the specter's progress he noticed that the entire hall's attention was focused all on them. His faced hardened into his trademark scowl as he began to glare down both the student body and other ghosts. Silently challenging them to continue staring.

"Its ok Kain the ghost is gone now." Soothed the voice of Hawkeye behind him. Ed turned back to see Kain sheepishly un-bury his head from Vato's arm. The clicking of a lighter signaled that somebody needed a fix of nicotine, now! With some difficulty Haysman crawled out from his favorite place to hide, under the table. While all this was happening Ed allowed himself to sit down. Sighing he went back to piling food on his plate, pretending that the recent event didn't even happen.

All and all the feast didn't turn out that bad. That is until the new teachers for the year were introduced.

Popping the last bit of tart into his mouth Ed sat back enough to rub his now full stomach. The food disappeared as the Headmaster got up to address the hall once more. Through the mild haze of contentment Ed caught only a handful of words until the student body gave a lukewarm applause. Giving his head a sharp shake Ed straightened up a little in his chair.

"Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take on the-" started the Headmaster began before he stopped sudden to look down at the chimera woman. She stood to her full height, clearly wishing to make a speech. Then as if she were the head of the school Dumbledore promptly looking up at her as if he nothing more than to her what she had to say. The other staff members didn't look so keen to hear.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Simpered the beast-person, "for those kind words of welcome." Her voice was dripping with a false sweetness that forced the taste of bile into Ed's mouth. Not many people started out on Ed's shit list upon first meeting but this lady seemed to top his chart even before Colonel Jerkface!

"I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I am sure we'll be very good friends."  
At this part Ed actually gave a snort. Jean, Haysman, and surprisingly Kain all clasped their hands over their mouths to muffle the laughter. Noting that the woman took on a more business like tone Edward folded his arms in front of him on the table and laid his head down for a second.

Ed's head shot up as he sounds of the student body leaving jolted him awake.

"You know there is a thing out there called a bed, Fullmetal." Jeered Roy Mustang sneering across the table at him. Too tired to even care Ed actually ignored the comment. Once the last brat left the hall Ed made to leave, but before he could even fully leave his seat the voice of Dumbledore stopped him.

"Haven't fully recover from the trip I see." It stated, not asked. Ed looked up to see the a pair of annoyingly bright twinkling eyes peering down at him. Biting back the comment he was going to say Ed opted more a polite comment.

"Its all this damn moving crap." Surprisingly Dumbledore gave a light chuckle.

"Yes well make sure you don't wear yourself too thinly there. Don't want you ending up in the Hospital Wing the first week of school do we?" Warned the old man eyes practically ablaze with the twinkle. Deciding that he'd rather not argue Ed got up and made his way to bed.

---

It seemed as though the fatigue from the previous days had finally lifted. Then again when Edward Elric had a goal nothing gets in his way! After a quick breakfast Ed marched down towards the library. Students parted like the red sea as he cut straight through the middle of the mass. Upon reaching the library he met up with his nemesis from the day before. Madame Pince, was considerably warmer than yesterday as she explained that if you mistreat her books they will get revenge. Slightly mortified at the thought of books rearing up to strike Ed continued to listen to the woman talk about her wonderful library. After she was done she handed him a bright yellow card.

Curiously Ed looked down at the card. It was nothing special really, it was thick and heavy much like his State Certification certificate.

'This card allows one: Edward Elric permission to check out books from the Library.'

"Usually student just sign a sheet when they check out a book, but since your not a student we had to come up with another system." Her voice breaking the silence Ed looked up to met her eye. "The Colonel came up with the idea based on the system back in your homeland. No card, no books. Is that clear?" She asked her freakishly bird-like eyes boaring down into his own.

"Crystal" He muttered before making his way towards the back.

---

Ed wandered a little before finally coming across the alchemy section. All the while he fumed about what the Colonel did. With but a single word Ed could have his access to the library snatched away. Talk about your incentive to behave.

After finally finding the perfect spot to conduct his research Ed began to pluck random books off the self in the alchemy section. With a nice heavy thud he set his treasure on the table and began to read. All troubles and worries left behind in the wake of the welcoming arms of Alchemy.

--------

Done. Sorry it took so long! Ed never did finish Hogwarts: A History. Promise future chapters will be more interesting than this. I love you Krow! Anything interesting that your dying to see let me know, 'k? Half un-betta'd


	6. Havoc Gets a Girlfriend

This is Siv's first attempt at an Omake Chapter. Omake is Japanese for more or in this case bonus. So here a little bonus for all 59 watchers and 22 Favors!  
-------------------------

Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc was once again smoking in his favorite spot by the giant double doors at the main entrance to the esteemed academy of Hogwarts. At first it was hard for him to smoke there with all the students staring at him as if he were so some sort of animal that wandered out of the woods. Fortunately after two weeks the students began to ignore him as they wandered to and fro about their business. It seemed as thought the inhabitants of the nearby village had never seen people such as Jean before in their lives. They would sometimes converge around the gates leading to the school to point and whisper to each other. That annoyed the usual mellow Jean to no end and he would go back inside.

After about a month of this there was finally a change in pace. As usual Fullmetal was once again leaping down the stone steps towards who knows where with only a quick 'hey' in Jean's general direction as a greeting. As he watched the teen jog off he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Turning towards the new object he gave a small 'eh' of surprise. When he finally noticed what it was exactly he almost dropped the still lit cigarette from his mouth. Walking towards him was one of the singular most beautiful creatures he'd ever seen. She had deep coffee colored hair and curves in all the right places to his eye.

She wore robes so she had to be a wizard; the term witch seemed to give his mouth a nasty taste. Jean continued to stare right up until she stopped two feet away."Hello," she said calmly as her eyes sized him up.

"Hello yourself," retorted Jean before taking another drag from his cigarette, his nerves aflame as she gave a small smile.

"So is it true? Are you really a Muggle?" She asked, but her tone suggested she already knew the answer. For some odd reason he was annoyed by her question; maybe it was the fact that she was so hot.

"Yeah that's me alright," he replied with a note of laughter in his voice.

"Good thing too," he added without thinking. Her smile disappeared and her eyes grew hard.

"Oh? Why is that?" She asked her tone as sharp as flint. He gave a small chuckle before answering. "Because knowing my luck I'd say a spell wrong and end up blowing myself up," he replied while looking downward, praying she would find his joke funny. The sound of poorly stifled laughter forced Jean to look upward once again.

"Oh you are a scream." She giggled as she sat down promptly next to him on the stairs. Smiling more to himself than anything Jean felt hope swelling inside his chest. That is until--

"Havoc! There you are!" Cried Falman poking his head through the double doors behind the duo. Ignoring Jean's companion Falman barked about taking too many extended breaks when there was work to be done. After Falman disappeared back inside the woman got up and excused herself. Before she was out of ear shot Jean stood up  
and shouted after her.

"Sorry I didn't catch your name! Mines' Jean Havoc!"

"Rosmerta." She smiled over her shoulder and continued to walk away.

---------  
What more is there to say? I like the name Maria for her...


	7. The Melancholy of Edward

When my computer's brain died it took me awhile to fine a new replacement. Money has been tight so far this year. Stress does not equal fanfiction kids. Comas give me hell. Sorry about more information on the military and junk. I think it adds to the story experience.

The corridor leading to the Great Hall was filled with nonsense chatter as students made their way to dinner. All in all a normal first day back. Up until a smallish blond muggle stormed right down the middle of the large crowd that is. Ignoring the not-so-quiet whispers and complaints Ed burst into the Great Hall, lower part of his blue uniform flaring in his wake. Storming over to his spot Ed gracelessly plopped down before anyone could even say 'hi'.

"That good, eh Boss?" Asked Breda as he reached for his steaming mug.

"The _nerve _of that woman!" Barked Ed spearing a fat sausage from the pile. "Kicking me out because I was there too long. Why I never-" Ed continued on that tangent up until Mustang settled across from him. Giving Ed a withering look he began picking out his own dinner.

"Where were you at lunch Fullmetal?" Asked the Colonel not looking up from his mash. Ed stopped mid-rant to give Mustang an odd look.

"What does it matter to you?" He inquired harshly, still very much pissed about being kicked out of the library.

"Just answer the question Ed." Requested Roy tiredly. Huffing loudly Ed went back to eating.

"In the library, where else?" Retorted the blond refusing to look at his Commanding Officer. There was a very heavy pause that made Falman and the rest exchange glances. It seemed Roy was trying to burrow holes into Edward's head as he stared at the teen. After a few very painful seconds Mustang went back to his meal. Other than that, dinner passed without incident.

Later that night Ed was still upset. Not just about being so rudely booted out of the library, but over the fact that she went and filed all the books back. UGH! Now he'd never get anything accomplished. Growling out in frustration Ed turned to face the wall, when his head hit something solid. Curiously Ed reached underneath his pillow to retrieve the object. It was the Hogwarts: a History book. A smile broke out across his face as Mustang entered the room. Mustang glanced over at Ed before pulling off his uniform jacket.

"Lights out in five minutes, Ed."

"Uh-huh." Replied Ed getting up to place the book on his desk. After they changed the lights were shut off with a small 'Good night' from Roy. A few seconds later there was a very quiet 'Night Colonel.'

* * *

Edward Elric was not a happy camper come morning. First of all he woke up with a skull splitting headache, and a mouth that tasted like cotton. Secondly he was even more tired now than when he went to sleep last night. Stumbling into the Great Hall Ed noticed that his co-workers were all waiting for him.

"We were starting to worry Boss." Chuckled Havoc around his unlit cigarette. Mustang stood up and made his way around to the head of the table. Ed noticed the small stack of papers in Mustang's hands and gave a small groan. This may take awhile.

"First order of business. Weekly reports." Announced Roy reading off the top page. "Every week on Friday we will meet up like this at dinner and go over what we've done during the week. Since we're pretty much landlocked here we'll have to be very careful to keep tabs on things such as pens and other supplies. Alright... " Trailed off Roy skimming the page for further information. Finding none he set the page down on the table and began on page two.

"Next is breaks. All officers are to be given one five minute break every three hours. This includes smoke breaks." Havoc gave a small noise of disapproval, which Roy ignored. "All officers will break for meals, this means you Ed." During that last part Roy actually looked down at Ed to make sure the teen heard him. The two alchemists locked eyes for a brief second before Ed gave his own noise of disapproval. Not taking his eyes off Ed Roy continued. "I'm also adding on to that and making it an hour break after lunch for you Ed."

"What? Why?" Snarled Ed actually standing up.

"I know how you are. You're going to burn yourself out before the mission is even half-way over at this rate." Replied Roy coolly still staring pointedly at Edward. Growling furiously Ed leaned forward slightly.

"I can take care of myself just fine thanks."

"I'm well aware of that, Fullmetal. Unfortunately for you I'm also your Commanding Officer which means you will pace yourself or you will find yourself on a one-way trip back to Resembool. Do I make myself clear?" Huffing loudly Ed sat back down, crossed his arms, and proceeded to look away.

"Crystal." Muttered Ed still pouting. Turning back towards the forms Roy started on page three.

"Alright, all soldiers are allowed to wander the halls and grounds. Soldiers are allowed to sit in only if they arrive before the class starts. I suppose that will help us scout out our new recruits. The forest is forbidden due to the creatures that dwell there. The town of Hogsmead is also forbidden since it's the only Muggle-free environment outside of London and they wish to keep it that way. Makes sense. Uh yes what is it Havoc."

"So basically we're stuck here. Aren't we?" There was a pause that only Havoc could create before Mustang answered in a very deadpan voice.

"Yes, yes we are."

* * *

Noon came too soon for Ed as he gathered the various papers he'd scribbled on. He ignored Madame Pince's glare as he made his way to lunch where he scarfed some funny meat pie that didn't taste half bad. Pushing away his now clean plate Ed thought about what he was going to do for the next hour. Setting his head down he thought hard.

"What's the matter? Do you feel sick, sir?" Asked a voice startling Ed into looking up. It was Falman coming down for lunch. Blinking for a second Ed looked away.

"No just thinking about what I'm going to do for my break."

"Did you finish your book yet?" Asked Vato sitting down at his spot.

"What book?" Ed read a lot of books.

"The one about the school, Hogwarts: A history." Reminded Vato carelessly as he poked at the meat pies. With that Ed raced back towards the room.

xOxOx

As much as Ed thoroughly enjoyed the book he really didn't want to reread Hogwarts: A History again. It was day three of the term and Edward was strolling around the grounds bored stiff. It was bad enough he felt horrible waking up, and nearly missed lunch. Ed gave a glancing glare up at the sky.

The wet, gloomy weather here was so much like Eastern Command this time of year it was scary. Giving a sneeze he was about to head in when he spotted a rather large group of students heading towards a cabin just on the outskirts of the forest. Curiosity getting the better of him Ed headed towards them. There were two groups and based on the color of their ties they were Slytherins and Gryffindors. They were gathered around a long table laden with, twigs?

When he finally reached the class the teacher looked over the heads of students. She gave him a look of slight disapproval before calling out to him.

"If you wish to observe my class please come to the front Mr.-"

"Elric." Called back Ed. All eyes were on him as he made his way towards the front. He could hear them whispering fiercely but couldn't make out anything they were saying.

"But Ed or Edward would do." He informed her listlessly as he glanced down at the twigs. This oughtta be good. With that the woman started her lesson. A strong dislike for the group called Slytherin formed as Ed watched them tease a girl for knowing the answers. It only intensified as he saw the white-blond Slytherin lean towards a dark-haired Gryffindor, who visibly paled. Ed's eyes narrowed, he didn't allow bullying back in Resembool and he wouldn't have it here if he could help it. The blond went back to his little gang and began to talk quite loudly about what his _father_ would do.

"Father recently spoke to the Minister about the new Muggle infestation we have going here at Hogwarts." As if trained the whole group gave Ed a pointed glare before turning back towards their leader. Ed ignored them and moved closer to the teased girl and bullied boy's group. "They also discussed the recent Ministry drive to get rid of substandard teachers. So if we're lucky we'll be rid of the Muggles and the oaf by Christmas.

"OUCH!" Cried the black-haired Gryffindor. Swiftly Ed stepped forward and lifted the teen's hand to his face. The Slytherins roared with laughter as the other student bled profusely from two deep cuts on his finger. Oh yes something had to be done.

"Interesting." stated Edward clearly for all to hear. The other blond stopped laughing to glare evilly at Ed.

"What's interesting Muggle?" Snarling the word Muggle as if it were a moral sin to be one. Ed gave a near silent chuckle through his nose before answering.

"It's just that the spoiled, rich brats here act just like the ones back home is all." With that Ed gave a Roy worthy smirk before making his way towards the brunette.

"How's his hand?" He asked and the teased girl answered.

"Harry'll be just fine as soon as we get a proper bandage." She answered tying her handkerchief on Harry's finger. Nodding Ed went back up to the school to see about a Harry in Gryffindor.

Turns out that out of the thousand student body there was only one Harry. It would take a week to process the paperwork needed to get the file on Harry. So once again Ed was left with absolutely nothing to do. This is going to be a very long ten months.

* * *

I want to write my novel now. Ed finally meets Harry!


	8. Perspective

This chapter was made possible by the website: flufacts. com.

* * *

Roy sighed inwardly; it seemed that Fullmetal had done it again. They weren't even done with the first week of term and he was already causing a stir. Roy didn't receive all the details but he knew if it involved Ed it had to be bad. Apparently the incident involved insulting some noble-blooded kid. Oh well, at least Ed didn't punch the brat. Thank goodness for small favors. Speaking of small where was Ed?

No-one had seen him since yesterday; at least not awake. Havoc was dispatched to the library to grab the disobedient brat. That was roughly ten minutes ago. When Havoc came back alone Roy was informed that Ed had never shown up. Raising his eyebrows in surprise Roy stood up. After Ed's previous tirade on being kicked out of the library the short alchemists' absence angered and even slightly worried him. If Edward wasn't in the library where was he? Roy ordered the rest of his team to the various places Ed could have wandered off to; the Owlery, the grounds, the Great Hall, and various other places. They had half an hour to report back to base. The Colonel had assigned himself to the astronomy tower and the upper floors. As Roy made his way down the little hallway he paused at his and Ed's dorm. Being a firm believer in following your sixth sense he allowed himself to be steered into opening the door to peer inside.

The first thing he noticed was the Ed-shaped lump under the blanket on the boy's bed. Sighing Roy made his way over the snoozing teen.

"Time to get up Fullmetal!" Roy grabbed the edge of the blanket and yanked it off. All of Roy's frustration evaporated when he saw the miserable state Ed was in. The teen was soaked in sweat, and shivering. For a few seconds all Roy could do was stare down at the almost impossible sight. When Ed gave a dry cough Roy snapped out of his trance. Quickly tucking Ed back under the blanket Roy thought furiously about what he needed to do next. Would the school nurse treat a Muggle? Would the treatment even work on them? Glancing down at the now weak and vulnerable Fullmetal Roy had made up his mind.

He had to at least try.

It didn't take long for the rest of the group to return after failing to find Ed anywhere. Roy briefed them on Ed's condition and even Hawkeye was a little surprised to see Ed had gotten so sick so quickly. After a short discussion Fuery was sent to fetch the school nurse, deciding it was a bad idea to try and move Ed right now. Ten minutes later Roy was relieved to see that Madame Pomfrey was willing to treat Ed. She whipped out her wand and began prodding Ed in various spots, all the while asking Roy about Ed's behavior days prior.

"What's wrong with him?" Asked Roy in a deceptively calm voice. The nurse actually glared up at him.

"He has the flu." She replied back coolly.

"Is that all?" Asked Roy raising an eyebrow at what he thought was a silly thing for Ed to catch. The nurse's eye narrowed as she stood up to face Roy head on.

"Tell me Mr. Mustang, did you know that if left untreated the flu could lead to pneumonia? Or even worse bacterial pneumonia, which can be very serious, and sometimes life threatening," All Roy could do was blink down at the little nurse. He didn't even know what bacterial pneumonia was, but it sounded dreadful.

"I…I didn't know…" He trailed off weakly. Sighing the nurse turned back to Ed.

"Well we can't move him in this condition. Here help me prop him up." With the nurse's help Roy managed to sit Edward upright. Groaning, Ed opened his eyes a mere crack to see who was touching him as the nurse brushed aside his bangs from a sweat drenched forehead. The nurse leaned down to retrieve some vial from the nursing bag she'd brought.

"Drink this my dear, it'll make you feel better," crooned the nurse helping Ed drink the blue colored liquid. When Ed was nestled back under the covers the nurse turned back to Roy.

"Now that's taken care of I need the rest of your lot to come down to the hospital wing. We need to make sure no one else caught it."

"Right." Muttered Roy weakly as he followed the nurse out of the room.

* * *

With three to a bed Roy's group sat and waited for the nurse to return. While they waited Roy filled them in on Ed's condition.

"So is Edward going to be alright, sir?" Asked Hawkeye from Roy's left.

"I don't see why not," answered Havoc chuckling. "The Boss is too tough for something like this to bring him down." They all agreed silently to this statement and looked up in unison as the nurse returned clasping all their medical files under one arm.

"Alright who wants to go first?" Asked Madame Pomfrey her eyes glancing at each one in turn. Falman jumped off the bed thanks to Havoc's 'encouraging' pinch and Madame Pomfrey seized the surprised man's arm and dragged him over to a screen further down the room.

"Alright let's get started then; name?"

* * *

Havoc was still irked at the nurse's lecture on the potential health hazards behind smoking. Kain was still blushing from the diagnosis of having athlete's foot. Vato was told that he needed to eat more greens and Heymans was told to eat fewer sweets. Riza received a full bill of health as Roy got a lecture about eating more in general. With a promise to send Ed down the second he was feeling better the group headed for dinner.

They ate quickly, eager to get back to their rooms to play a long awaited game of poker, read or look in on Ed. Ignoring the sneers from the green clad students and the still curious looks from the rest of the students they hurried out the double doors as a solid group. It felt like they were back in the Academy again; dressed in lounging clothing, all the dorm room doors wide-open. A kind of peace settled over them that relaxed even the most restless soul. Roy had just finished placing a fresh cooling cloth over Ed's forehead when the voice of Dumbledore resounded from the hallway.

"Excuse the interruption everyone, I would like to introduce Charity Burage."

* * *

Woo go Krow!! Now things are about to get interesting.


	9. First Lesson

Why do people feel the need to bash on Harry when they write FMA/HP crossovers? I've never understood that. Also Ed isn't an ass so stop writing him as such. Oh special shout out to Sora Livanaand her fic Whispers in the Rain. My shonen-ai muse is screaming for some HP/EE action…ahem. Anyway back to the fic.

**Warning: this is unedited and mistake ridden.**

* * *

Mustang's alarm clock was the first thing Ed noticed when it woke up. Normally Ed would just wake up for a second, turn over, and going back to sleep again. Ed listened to Mustang grumble as he got out of bed. Ed almost dropped back off to sleep when he felt cool hand touch his forehead.

With a violent jolt Edward sat up in bed. Mustang took a step back, startled at his subordinate's reaction. Mustang quickly regained his composure as he straightened up.

"So your finally awake." Smirked Mustang as Ed let out a small growl of frustration. He wasn't even up for two minutes and the Colonel was already on his case about something.

"You know..." Started Mustang unbuttoning his pajama top. Ed noticed that his roommate wasn't facing him. "If you would like to stay in bed today you can."

"WHAT? Where did that come from? Some days I swear you try to make my life more difficult." Snarled Ed thinking the Colonel was teasing him again. Mustang remained silent as he finished changing. It didn't take Edward long to throw his on as well. Ed was buttoning up his jacket when Mustang spoke up again.

"Oh when your finished eating breakfast the nurse wants to see you." Mustang didn't give Ed time to reply before closing the door behind him. Ed followed a few steps behind his commanding officer when they both entered the Great Hall. Hawkeye rushed forward bearing a section of a newspaper.

"Sir I think you should look at this." Hawkeye's voice was slightly more tense than usual. Edward ignored the both of them as he sat down for breakfast.

"Glad to see you up, Boss." Greeted Breda a little ways away from Ed.

"You had us worried there." Chimed in Havoc much to Edward's confusion.

"What on Earth are you two babbling about now?" Asked Ed glaring down the table at them. It was like everyone had gone stupid overnight. Before either of them could answer Mustang had thrown the newspaper down onto the table with a snarl.

Havoc immediately snatched up the paper to read it for himself. Fuery, and Breda peered curiously over the taller man's shoulder. Falman seemed too interested in his grapefruit to care at the moment. After he finished off an egg and a sausage Ed was handed the paper by a very disgusted Havoc. With small piece of toast dangling from his mouth Edward began to read.

_Muggles at Hogwarts: The Beginning of the Fall of Wizarding Kind _

_On August 31 the unthinkable had happen. Muggles soiled the once fine grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Without the Ministry's consent, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore had contacted the estranged country of Amestris. (For more details concerning Amestris see page 12) The leader of Amestris, Fuhrer Bradley, sent seven officers to reside in Hogwarts for the whole school year. The supposed purpose of the seven Muggles is to "strengthen the ties between our two countries" as Headmaster Dumbledore stated in the interview. To make matters even worse they sent a fifteen year old as one of their "finest" State Alchemists. __This sentence hated me_

"_If a mere fifteen year old could make the finest' list I dread to see what the standard Alchemists look like." Remarks Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. "There a glimmer of hope with the Educational Decree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of 'Hogwarts High Inquistor'. _

_The 'Inquistor' post will insure- _

By now Edward's toast had fallen into his lap after he bit down on it in rage. An entire nation was mocking him simply because of his age. The sheer nerve of these narrow minded, pompous, self-righteous bastards made his blood boil. My personal favorite insult right there. Ed threw down the paper as if he were burnt making a fierce frustrated noise in the back of his throat.

"So now what?" Asked Breda in a low voice. Even Falman looked up from his grapefruit to survey Mustang's reaction. To their amazement the man smirked. "Good thing we agreed to help the Muggle Studies class, huh?"

"Muggle Studies?" Asked Edward in an apprehensive tone. All of a sudden everyone looked highly uncomfortable.

"Yes Muggle Studies. It's a class designed to teach students that grew up in the Magical World about how Muggles go about their daily lives." Droned Mustang in his usual this-is-your-mission tone. Instantly Edward did not like where this was going.

"So how exactly are we going to 'help' the class?" Asked Ed already knowing the answer.

"By teaching some lessons of course." Replied back Mustang as if it was nothing. "Speaking of which your lesson is scheduled for after lunch today Fuery. Professor Burage would like you to go down a little before the lesson actually starts to go over some things."

Taking Mustang's change in attention as a close in discussion Edward retrieved the fallen toast from his lap. While he thought of several reasons why he wouldn't be forced to teach, Ed munched on his toast. With an unnecessary loud gulp Ed stood up to leave.

"Remember you have an appointment with the nurse." Reminded Mustang not looking at Ed. With a snort as reply the teen made his way towards the nurse's office.

* * *

The nurse was actually waiting for him when Ed entered the Wing. She had his file tucked under her arm and everything. The nurse motioned him to follow her to a more private area of the wing. She motioned him to seat on one of the beds before settling into a chair for herself.

"After you became ill I decided to the liberty to personally examine your entire unit." Began the nurse opening his extensive medical file.

"Became ill? When was I sick?" Asked Ed thrown for a loop. Madame Pomfrey looked up from the file. Sometimes the fever would mess with the memory of the victim.

"You've been down with the flu for the past two days now." She replied simply.

Poor Mrs. Norris jumped two feet when she heard an inhuman yell that came from the Hospital Wing down the hall.

* * *

In all his time as an officer under Colonel Mustang, Kain Fuery had never dislike the man. Until now that is. Kain was scheduled to teach a class about what's it like to be non-magical and he didn't have the slightest idea how to do that. Not to mention the mere thought of standing up in front of a bunch of strangers made his stomach hurt. Standing in front of a line of fresh recruits he could handle but this…

Kain found himself standing in front of Professor Burage's office half an hour before class started. Squaring his shoulders Kain gave a knock. Before he reached the third knock the door flew open to reveal the beaming Professor.

"Master Sgt Fuery!" She greeted a little too enthusiastically for his taste. Before Fuery could flinch the Professor seized him firmly by the arm and yanked him into the office. She then guided him into one the chairs in front her desk and shoved him into one.

"So what do you plan to talk about Kain? Can I call you Kain? Or do you prefer Master Sgt?"

"Um, Kain is fine."

"Alight then Kain it is. So as I was saying I would like to hear what you have to say for today's class."

"Uh, well it depends. I mean what have you already covered so far?" Kain was being to become slightly more comfortable with actually doing the lesson at this point.

"Well let's see now-" Muttered Professor Burage shuffling through the multitude of parchment papers spread across the desk surface. She made a triumphant sound as she finally found the parchment piece. "You'll be teaching Third Years about…light bulbs.

"Light bulbs?" Repeated Kain a flint like edge in his voice. Before Professor Burage could say anything the bell for class to start rang.

"Lets go shall we?" That annoying cheerfulness was back into her voice.

"Now as I was saying last time we will occasionally have some our Muggle Guests come and talk to us about how they use the things be talk about in class today." Lectured Professor Burage as Kain just stood a little ways away from her. "So for our very first guest we have Master Sgt Kain Fuery joining us today."

There was mild applause and Fuery was left alone at the front of the room.

"What can I answer for you?" Asked Kain, the nervousness had returned ten fold. A boy in the back raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"So what's the point of the light bulb anyway?"

* * *


	10. The WIT Trials

After much yelling and finally being threatened by the nurse Ed finally settled down

Things will speed up I promise. Upon printing the over 30 pages of this story I have come to realize that I still left in my author's notes. Oops. Oh well nothing I can do about it now I guess.

--

After much yelling and being threatened by the nurse Ed finally settled down. After being told off for being too skinny for his 'condition', she read about his prosthetics, the nurse finally sent Ed on his way. Two whole days of research, gone! It would take him six days of constant work to even make up for the lost time.

So not only did Ed have to start from scratch when it came to even understanding alchemy from a wizarding perspective. He also had to perfect the art so he wouldn't have a backlash while using it. Finally he could then search for something on how to make the philosopher's stone. Between not having Alphonse with him and all the unnecessary breaks, Edward felt like he'd never get this done. That was three days ago.

Now Edward was once again sitting in the library mulling over his notes. It was right after his mandatory break and he was itching to get back to work. It took him a lot of work to convince Madame Pince to not touch any of his notes when he went on break or to lunch. She would, however, reshelf the books when she closed up for the night and no matter how hard he tried she would not relent.

Ed had just found a very promising looking book when a small voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Um, excuse me?" It was a very small boy. Edward glanced up from his work. The student gave a squeak and dropped the rolled up parchment he was caring. Due to the look of determination and the lighting Ed resembled Professor Snape on a bad day.

"What?" Snapped Ed wishing to get back to his work. The boy retrieved the fallen scroll and handed it to Ed before bolting. The message was from Mustang to meet the rest of the team in the work office. Grumbling loudly Ed ignored Madame Pice's glare as he exited the library.

Roy Mustang checked his pocket watch for the third time in half an hour. As usual everything ground to a halt for Edward. Mustang snapped his watch shut before pocketing it again.

"He's late." Muttered Mustang out loud. No sooner did the words leave his mouth before the door opened with a bang. Ignoring the glares he received Edward stomped into the room and plopped himself down in the closest unoccupied seat.

"This had better be frickin' important." Grumbled Ed crossing his arms heatedly.

"Glad you could join us Fullmetal." Announced Roy in a bored tone while shuffling through the papers on his desk. Pulling out what he was looking for Mustang cleared his throat.

"Alright then lets get this over with. As you all know we having been assigned to bring back at least one student to join the army. Well at eleven hundred hours this morning I was sent the requirements for the W.I.T that we are going to bring back." Read off Mustang in his bored tone to the others.

"The what?" Asked Ed his aggravation seeping into his tone.

"It stands for Witch or Wizard In Training." Piped up Falman from his spot on the couch.

"Oh" Was all that Edward said before going back to pouting.

"As I was saying, now that the requirements are in we can now begin our research." Continued Mustang, as he wasn't interrupted. "Along with Academic prowess we also need to test Practical ability as well. So we are in charge of not only creating the exercises but evaluating them as well."

"Sounds like a lot of work." Muttered Breda as he slumped in his spot.

"Oh please. Its not like we have anything better to do." Snapped Hawkeye giving a glare at Havoc, Fuery, Falman, and Breda in turn. Ed gave a snicker, which caused everyone to round on him.

"I wouldn't be laughing Fullmetal, you have to help too." Cut in Mustang, a noticeable edge in his voice.

"WHAT? Why do I have to help?" Yelled Ed as he leapt to his feet. "I have very important things to-"

"You do realize that your research isn't part of the mission and is a privilege right? If I wanted to I could easily make it to where you couldn't even to past the doors to the library, let alone read one their books." Threatened Mustang his natural narrow eyes almost threadlike. Edward balled up his fists tightly at his side. How dare he threaten Ed's research, threaten the one literally magical thing that could finally fix Alphonse back to his normal body. Sensing Ed's wrath bubbling towards the surface Mustang went in for the kill.

"If you don't like it I could have you shipped back to Amestris quicker than you could say 'Alchemy'. Maybe if you're good the Fuhrer might not take your state alchemist certification way." Stated Mustang casually, as if he was commenting on the weather. Edward felt his blood run cold. Mustang could be a bastard at times, but this was taking the cake. The statement seemed to pierce straight into his very soul. Time seemed to stop for a second as the statement fully sunk in. Without changing his stunned expression Edward plopped down forcefully into his chair. The second his bottom hit the chair Ed crossed his arms and legs into a pout.

Mustang's smirk returned promptly to his mouth before continuing.

"Now that we have that out of the way. Back to the-"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Lieutenant Hawkeye can you get that?" Sighed Mustang wearily; this wasn't go as smoothly as he had planned.

"May we help you?" Asked Hawkeye when she opened the door.

"Yes, I would like to speak to whomever is in charge." Came a falsely sweet sounding voice.

Ed spared a glance at the door out of curiosity. He could barely make out a glimpse of pink from around Hawkeye's figure.

"We are having a meeting right now so-" Started out Hawkeye before she was rudely interrupted by the sickly sweet voice.

"Oh? And why wasn't I invited?" Asked the toad looking woman pushing her way past Hawkeye. At the woman's impudence Hawkeye started to draw her gun. Quickly Mustang held up his hand to stop her from shooting the pink clad woman.

"You see Professor Umbridge since you're not a member of the Ametresian Army we felt there was no need for your presence." Replied back Mustang his expression neutral.

"Well since I am the Hogwarts' High Inquisitor I need to know about these sort of meetings." Informed the pink clad woman placing herself next to Falman on the couch. With a frown Falman scooted a little closer to Breda to get away from the vile woman.

"Didn't know that the Inquisitor had that authority." Quipped back Mustang in a semi-bored tone. "Since we are representatives and all." The comment instead of putting her off made that woman give a girlish giggle.

"Oh but you see Mr.-" Umbridge glanced down at her notes for a second. "-Mustang. Since your team will be helping the Muggle Studies class, which falls under my jurisdiction by the way, I need to see if your lesson plans are Ministry approved." Explained Umbridge in a superior tone. If Mustang was upset about now having to now report to two sets of authorities he didn't show it.

"Sounds fair enough." He replied Mustang with his own tone of authority. "However since this meeting wasn't called to talk about lessons I am going to have to ask you to leave."

Umbridge looked as though she had been slapped in the face. A few blinks later she managed to compose herself. Her confusion quickly morphed into anger as Umbridge leapt to her feet.

"Under what authority?" Snapped the now red-faced Professor, her bow slightly askew.

"Why your own government's authority. Along with being Muggle guards we are also Amestresian ambassadors. Too much nosing around makes it look like you don't trust us, and since you work for the Wizarding government it looks like _they_ don't trust us. In newly allied countries trust is a key factor getting along peacefully." All while he explained Mustang smirk never left his face. Umbridge was actually sputtering at this point. With her face now red as a beet she wordlessly stomped out the room slamming the door shut behind her.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say Ed just left." Commented Havoc before he started laughing at his own joke. Well up until Ed threw a nearby mug at him anyway.

* * *

So authors have this new feature called Reader Traffic. Anyway I would like to say hi to all my international readers out there. (The complete list I posted on my profile.)

Until I get the fixed version back we will have to make due with this.


	11. Small Victories

Ed just wants to go back to his books. He is not whinny he's just very frustrated at the moment.

Lately I have been going full time to college and working hard to earn tuition. My computer has slipped into a coma, this is boyfriend's laptop and we just barely managed to save my written works before the virus totally ate everything. So that's been my drama as of late.

Upload date: 11-10-08 un-beated

---------

"If I didn't know any better I'd say Ed just left." Commented Havoc before he started laughing at his own joke. Well up until Ed threw a nearby mug at him anyway.

"If everyone is done interrupting me I would like to finish this meeting sometime before dinner." Snapped Mustang as the noise level in the room plummeted. No one else dared to move, except for Edward who just crossed his arms again to pout. Hawkeye had returned to her seat with ninja-like stealth.

"As I was saying, we now have the criteria for our new recruit. I expect each, and every one of you to be on the lookout for anyone that we could use. When you spot somebody you need to submit a student file-request form. Once we collect a fair amount we will start conducting tests of our own."

"What kind of tests are we going to run, sir?" Asked Falman totally forgetting that he wasn't suppose to interrupt. Mustang's eye twitched for a second before he gave his answer.

"For you Falman, you are to look at the disciplinary record of each potential student. We don't want to go recruiting another juvenile delinquent."

"HEY!" Protested Edward loudly. Except for two small snickers no one paid him any mind.

"Understood, sir. I'll do my best!" Declared Falman jumping to his feet to give a salute. Breda shook his head at his friend's overly-formalness while grabbing the tails of Falman's pants.

"Breda. I would like you to look for any outstanding academic performances. Whether it is grades or simply powers that no one else posses I want you to pull their file. The Fuehrer didn't say that we had to bring back a traditional soldier." Breda gave a nod of understanding before Mustang turned his attention Havoc on his immediate right.

"Havoc, you're in charge of physical fitness. Basic training would kill them if they were out of shape. I don't want to start a war over someone dying under our watch."

"But sir. Didn't you just say you were not looking for a tradition soldier?" Asked Breda now thoroughly confused.

"You are misunderstanding my objective Breda. I want to have the perfect student. I don't care what department they are perfect for. I just want to be the one to discover them first." Stated Mustang boldly towards his men. Edward made a noise of disgust that earned him a few glares.

"Which brings me to you Fuery. Hawkeye." Continued Mustang addressing the individuals with a sharp nod of his head.

"Sir?" Asked Fuery and Hawkeye in unison both.

"I would like you to alternate teaching the Muggle Study class. Don't worry about what Umbridge said, I'll handle it with the headmaster tomorrow." Reassured Mustang. Fuery let out a sigh of relief just before Mustang settled his eyes back on Edward.

"Now for the real reason we brought you here Fullmetal." Mustang let the statement drift through the air dramatically before continuing. "I've noticed through out the years you have this knack for assisting others in need. So I'm assigning you to be of help to any personnel that may need your assistance."

"So what, I'm going to be not only your errand boy but everyone else's now too?" Asked Edward as he once again leapt out of his seat. The chair was pushed back so hard this time that it actually tipped over.

"Sounds about right." Replied Mustang with an icy edge to his voice. With Ed's previous tantrum and now Umbridge's meddling Mustang had just about had enough for one day. Ed took a deep breath to begin his next argument but was cut off by Mustang.

"Look, if you don't like it then go home! Just make sure to leave _that_ here." Mustang instructed coolly while he pointed at the silvery chain dangling from Ed's pocket.

"Sir don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Asked Fuery before he could stop himself.

"The Fuehrer himself requested you for this mission Fullmetal. Said that you were truly the best man for the job and that you would be the best change to bring back a wizard." Preached Mustang getting some of his old smugness back at Ed's stunned expression. "But if the mission is too much for you we can always find somebody else to take your place. Maybe that's for the best, _Alphonse_ must be so worried about you by now."

That did it. It was that one little sentence that forced Edward to remember why was even in the military to begin with. Alphonse. And if it took teaching pompous, magic brats to fix Al's body, so be it.

__

So helping Hawkeye and Fuery with lessons was not the worst thing in the world. Then again they didn't ask for his help until it was October first. Hawkeye had approached him to help out for one of the classes before Ed had a chance to even sit down for breakfast.

Turned out that the Muggle Studies class had such a huge impact on the student body that students that weren't even taking the class wanted to listen to the Muggles speak. It seemed like more students where interested in Muggles than everyone had originally thought. Something about their work load being too heavy as it is or something like that. So with permission from the Headmaster himself there was going to be purely Muggle taught class in the Great Hall.

The first school wide lesson was going to be held after dinner on the first Saturday of October so that anyone who wanted to attend the session could do so. When the posters went up to announce the class the Slytherins were the first to complain. A few loud conversations went on to state that any self-respecting pureblood would never lower them selves to be in the presence of such being of inferiority beings. The comment about being inferior kind of stung the non-alchemist members of the team. After overhearing his subordinates voice their frustration on the matter Mustang waited until later that night to comment about how the more inbred the purebloods were the higher they thought of themselves. Edward even went on to make the accusation of Draco probably dating his first cousin. This seemed to cheer everyone up for the moment.

With renewed confidence Fuery and Hawkeye began to prep for their first meeting. Since answering the same questions over and over starting to wear down their patience the duo decided to tackle the questions about 'metal wands Muggles use to kill one another'. With the guaranteed large turn out Mustang suggested that Ed should be there as an extra set of eyes, just incase.

Saturday morning dawned with the three of them busily going over the basic safety precautions one last time when they were interrupted by a smart rapping on the office door. Before any of them could move the door was opened.

"Knock knock. Is anyone here?" Asked a falsely sweet voice before the girth of Professor Umbridge pushed its way inside. "Ah so glad I caught you. See I know your suppose to have your Muggle Studies meeting tonight and all, but sadly we have to cancel it."

"Why is that?" Asked Hawkeye, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Umbridge's fake smile twitched at the question before answering.

"Well you see my dear. Teaching our students to use Muggle weaponry is a serious offense against the new safety regulations we've developed." Explained the toad-woman carefully. She knew one slipup could cost a war, or worse her job.

"We are not teaching them how to use a gun, we're teaching students what a gun is and what to expect when one is pulled on them." Informed Hawkeye pulling out one of her two guns to show Umbridge. At the sight of the weapon Umbridge gave a birdlike screech of horror. Umbridge's hand dove for her wand, but she managed to get it caught taking it of her pink cardigan.

"What are you doing?" Yelped the overgrown toad as she fumbled with her caught wand.

"Professor Umbridge. Get a hold of yourself!" Ordered Hawkeye in her coldest tone. Professor Umbridge was so shocked at the direct order that she forgot why she was fleeing in the first place. Hawkeye unloaded her gun to show the stunned silent woman the non-lethal ammunition.

"They're just wax bullets. The worse thing that could happen is getting a really bad welt from these guys. So no one will be in any real danger." Chipped in Fuery in hopes to calm the hysterical woman. Umbridge seemed to have regained control over her emotions for a second before straightening her clothes. In her calmer state she managed to extract her wand from her pocket.

"Never the less the lesson has still been cancelled." Stated Umbridge with a smug look at her small victory. If Hawkeye were a lesser woman she would have rolled her eyes at the childish statement. Instead Hawkeye casually replaced her wax bullets back into her gun to avoid eye contact.

"Does the Headmaster know about the sudden cancellation of a class that he approved of?" Asked Hawkeye still looking up from loading her gun.

"There is no point in teaching student about Muggle weapons, none will be pulling one of those things on them here and I can guarantee that they'll never see one, period." Snarled Umbridge her face flushing from arguing.

"That's not what I was asking Professor Umbridge." Shot back Hawkeye looking back at the opposing woman, it was clear that Hawkeye was growing bored of the conversation. "I remember asking if you are trying to override the headmaster's authority for a lesson on your students safety."

"Of course not." Replied Umbridge rather weakly.

"Then if you excuse us, we have a lesson to plan for." With that sentence Hawkeye efficiently dismissed the rather annoying woman.

"Harry, are you going?" Asked Ron while excitedly scooping food onto his plate without even looking at it.

"To what?" Asked Harry thrown for a loop at Ron's passion for something other than Quiddtich.

"The Muggle Studies lesson tonight!" Chipped in Hermione surfacing from the charms books she had been reading.

"I was raised by Muggles, why on earth would I go to something like that?"

"Because we all know how much Umbridge just loathes our resident Muggles." Smiled Hermione at the thought of something that Umbridge could not control.

"So when is it again?" Asked Harry with a wicked grin of his own. Anything that Umbridge disliked was all right in Harry's book. Who knows, maybe it would be interesting.

* * *

Almost 2,000 words. Hey I had mid-terms last week and stuff.


	12. The Gun Safety Lesson

Three main reasons for not updating: Number one- College Finals. Number two- Economical/Monetary Stress aka I have no job, but still have bills. Finally number three-my best friends have poisoned me with Transformers and I've been dying to write on the subject matter. Will it be a Harry Potter crossover you ask? Yep, and I can make it work too.

Just spell checked: uploaded 1-1-09

* * *

"There is a lot more people here than I thought there would be." Breathed Hermione the second the Golden Trio had entered the Great Hall turned classroom. The only thing that had been changed was that the staff table had been removed.

"Yeah I know, looks like over half the school showed up for this thing." Commented Ron as they waded through the mass of students to look for an open seat.

"Justin, what're doing here?" Asked Harry right before they passed by. Justin blushed faintly before answering.

"Yeah well, you see. Ok so I was curious as to what all the commotion was about anyway. So why are you here Harry?" Shot back Justin regaining his composure.

"To piss off Umbridge." Replied Harry as if he was going to buy milk. The only reaction he got was a few blank stares from Justin and his friends.

"Hey Harry! Come on, we found some seats." Came the voice of Ron from behind Harry.

"I'll see you around then." Chirped Harry as he turned to join his own friends. Oddly enough they weren't too far from the front of the stage. Looking around Harry spotted the short, blond haired teen talking teen slightly taller guy with glasses.

"That's Major Elric and Sergeant Fuery." Explained Hermione as she too drank in the scenery.

"Is there anything you don't know?" Asked Ron to no one. Hermione made a frustrated sigh as she dove into the bag she brought with her. She pulled out what looked like a cross between a brochure and a small novel.

"Here, educate yourself." Snapped Hermione as she handed Ron the mini-novel. Harry peered over Ron's shoulder just in time to read 'Muggle Profiler'. Ron skipped the first few-paged labeled 'Mission Statement' until he got to the first page with pictures. The first page had a picture of a messy black-haired man.

"Roy Mustnag-" read off Harry before Hermione cut him off.

"Its actually Mustang." Corrected Hermione as she watched the verbal exchange of the two shorties on stage.

"How would you know?" Snapped Ron, he swore she knew everything!

"Well when I asked Professor McGonagall about any information on the Muggles she told me that the booklet had a typo or two." Explained Hermione, not taking her eyes off the off the Muggles. Wordlessly Harry and Ron nodded in understanding that sounded exactly like something the Ministry would do.

"Geeze I've seen more information on a chocolate frog." Complained Ron as he quickly read the meager description of Colonel Mustang.

"Yeah, no kidding." Concurred Harry in an annoyed tone much like Ron's. The booklet told them the man's name, rank, age, and job specialty. That was it.

"At least its better than nothing." Sighed Hermione sadly. Ron turned the page just as the Hall went quiet. The blond woman had approached the front of the stage, seems she was ready to begin.

"I would like to start off tonight by thanking all of you for coming today. My name is Captain Riza Hawkeye, this is Major Edward Elric," she gave a gentle sweep of her hand in the blond boy's direction. "And this is Master Sergeant Kain Fuery. They will be assisting me in our hour long lesson on gun safety." Announced Captain Hawkeye in a no-nonsense tone that could rival Professor McGonagall's. A hushed whisper ripped through the makeshift classroom. Captain Hawkeye didn't so much as flinch as she waited for three seconds before speaking again.

"To start things off-" Hawkeye reached behind her to pull something out of the pouch connected to her belt. There where many gasps and even a small scream when Hawkeye withdrew her weapon. Harry subconsciously leaned forward to get a little better look at the silvery weapon glimmering in the light. The only gun Harry had ever seen was the shotgun his uncle bought when his family was on the run from his Hogwart's letter.

"Do not be alarmed." Rang out Captain Hawkeye's crisp voice as she cocked her handgun into firing position. "Our live ammunition has been replaced with wax practice bullets. Observe." With that the Captain pointed her weapon towards the strategically placed wooden targets off stage. Gripping the gun firmly with both hands she fired three quick rounds. The sounds from the blasts had echoed strangely in the spacious Great Hall.

"What was the point of that?" Scolded a voice that Harry had no problem recognizing. Every head turned towards the back to see that the speaker was none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Of course." Muttered Ron bitterly. "Leave it to Malfoy to try and make the Muggles look bad." Hermione and Harry gave a nod in response.

"After what Headmaster Dumbledore had told me about how not many students even know what a gun is, I felt compelled to show the class what guns are actually capable of." Replied back the blond haired woman as if she'd been expecting somebody to try and pull something. "Now if you have anymore questions please wait until the end. Who knows we might even answer your question before you even ask it." Captain Hawkeye gave a small, but pretty smile when she said that last part.

"As I was saying, if that was a real person they wouldn't have more than a few stinging welts on them. Now that I've established that we're on not here to hurt you I would like to move on to how the actually anatomy of the gun. Master Sergeant Fuery will be instructing you on the inner working of one of our weapons tonight. Kain." Addressed Captain Hawkeye as she allowed the tiny black-haired man to take the stage.

"Hey he looks just like you Harry." Whispered Ron out loud. Harry punched his friend in the arm for his stupid comment.

"Shut up Ron!" Snapped Harry before the skittish looking Fuery began to speak.

"Um hello. I'm going to show you how a gun works tonight, uh Major…" Trailed off MSG Fuery as he turned to the slightly smaller blond haired teen member of the team. With a loud exaggerated sigh the Major dragged over a wheeled chalkboard littered with diagrams and the like. Before Sergeant Fuery was able to explain the diagrams Hermione leaned over to whisper to Harry.

"So are you feeling any better Harry? You looked so nervous when were having our meeting earlier today."

"You worry too much Hermione. Besides with the Muggles around Umbridge will be too busy to really bother Harry now." Ron reassured with a small chuckle.

After Malfoy's interruption the rest of the lesson went by smoothly. Captain Hawkeye allowed a few gun-related questions at the end before allowing the class to leave. As Harry turned to leave he spotted Umbridge approach the Muggle teachers.

"What? Is she inspecting the Muggle Teachers as well?" Exclaimed Harry to no one in particular.

"Don't put it past her." Grumbled Ron sleepily. "Speaking of which when do you think that Snape's is going to be inspected? Soon I hope he's becoming a real pain." Hermione gave a noise of annoyance while Harry gave a chuckle. Yep today had defiantly been the best day so far this school year.

* * *

Today was defiantly the worst day so far this school year, for Edward anyways. That Umbridge was the most annoying person the planet, bar none. Not to mention the stupid gun lesson was so~o boring.

"Oh, hey Boss." It was Havoc. How that man managed to keep that cigarette from falling out of his mouth while running Edward would never know.

"Oh, hey Havoc. What's up?"

"Here you go! One student file just for you." Replied back Havoc in his ever-cheerful voice. Edward glanced down at the thick folder handed to him. It was totally blank so Ed flipped it opened to see whose folder it was.

"Harry J. Potter." Read off Ed. "Wait, didn't I ask for this about a month ago?"

"You know how slow paperwork can be. Especially with that woman going around trying to make things harder for us. Anyway you also got a letter from you brother too."

"Really? Where is it?" Snapped Ed impatiently getting up into Havoc's face.

"It…its on your bed." Stuttered Havoc before Edward took off towards his dorm. Finally someone intelligent to talk to, even if it is through a piece of paper.

* * *

First update from me for the New Year. Thank all of you for your patience! See you next chapter!


	13. Breda vs Ron

Heymans Breda was bored out of his skull. He was to the point of almost getting something dirty just to clean it up again. Instead he decided to grab his chess set and go to the Great Hall as the wizarding folk called it. Breda personally thought it was just a glorified cafeteria. Ignoring the usual stares from the students the red head set up the chess board. It was around eleven so some of his team mates should be showing up for lunch soon. A fair few of early bird students milled around the hall. Sure enough ten minutes later Jean Havoc strolled into the cafeteria as smooth as butter. Looks like he just got back from meeting that Rosmerta woman again. Havoc's overly bright smile faded the second he spotted the chess set.

"Before you ask the answer is no." Stated the blond bluntly.

"Oh come on! I'm bored, your bored. We have a game to play." Debated Heymans. Havoc merely shook his head.

"No means no Breda." Chided Havoc before taking his usual seat. Sighing Breda folding his arms out in front of him. Carefully he rested his head down upon them.

"Its not fault I'm the best." Announced Breda loudly. Across the Hall the head of one Ronald Weasley jerked up violently. Many people disregarded Ron's love for chess as a flight of fancy. This was not true. Ron loved the thrill of chess, it was the one time he felt like he was on top of the world. Even Hermione couldn't out perform him when it came to chess. So when the redheaded Muggle announced that he was "the Best".

Ron's legs picked him up from his meal. Neither Hermione or Harry were present to bear witness to this once in a lifetime event. Weaving carefully around tables, bags, and the occasional first year Ron made his way to the Muggle Table. The Muggle man looked up when Ron approached the table.

"May I help you?" Asked the man. With the legendary Gryffindor courage taking over Ron then boldly challenged the Muggle man to a game of chess.

"Are you any good?" Asked Ron. The man gave a smirk before straightening up.

"Didn't you hear? I'm the best." Boasted the man in a semi-joking manner.

"Ron Weasley." Announced Ron sticking out his hand for the Muggle to take.

"Breda Heymans. Sorry Heymans Breda, forgot about the first/last name thing."

"Your name is Heymans? As in-"

"'Hey man! How's it going?' Yeah that's it. So are we going to play or what?" Clearly annoyed at the inquiry about his name Breda jumped to change the subject.

"Who's what color?" Asked Ron taking a seat. Breda answer was to pull out a Sen coin and showed it to Ron.

"Let's flip for it." Breda barely got the words out of his mouth before the coin was ripped from his grip.

"Whoa is this money?" Asked Ron. Carefully Ron mulled the little brass coin in his hands to get a better look at it. Sheepishly Breda gave a chuckle pulling out another one Sen piece from his pocket. Not even the children back home acted like that when seeing a one Sen piece for the first time.

"Call it in the air." Ordered Breda flipping the coin in the air. Catching it lazily he slapped the coin onto the back of his hand. Ron on the other hand blinked dopily at him.

"What? Haven't you ever flipped a coin to make a decision before?" Ron shook his head. Sighing Breda quickly explained the awesome power coin flipping can have on making vital decisions. After the brief lesson Ron got to play white. The battle of the Titans had begun.

* * *

If Ed hadn't been forced to share the same room as Mustang he would've found it very creepy to have the man sitting patiently waiting for him. Still the look of seriousness Mustang wore when Ed entered the bedroom still unnerved him slightly.

"What I do now?" Asked Ed spotting the letter waiting for him on his desk. Ignoring the invitation to mess around like he usually did Mustang cut straight to the chase.

"Your Alchemic Exam is next week." Stated the man coolly. Ed stopped half-way tearing into the letter from Alphonse.

"What?"

"You heard me. If you wish to keep being a State Alchemist you need to complete your yearly assessment exactly one week form today." Explained Mustang handing over a manila folder. Ed took it with steady hands. "I suggest getting started on your report about the similarities and differences of Magical Alchemy and Amestrian Alchemy." Ed gave an odd noise of agitation. Mustang got up to leave when he got to the door he glanced over his shoulder towards Ed. "I expect to see you for lunch. Don't make me sent down Havoc."

"Yeah. Yeah." Waved off Ed looking over the very official (boring) statement. Grumbling Ed tossed aside both Harry Potter's file as well the statement. "I'll look at it later. I'm hungry now." With that Ed got up stretched, scratched his scalp. Before the two left Ed made sure to snag Al's nearly forgotten letter.

* * *

"How long has been going on?" Asked Mustang catching sight of the wizard glaring down Breda. Both parties had their arms crossed in determination. They also sported two different colors of red hair as well. The chess set in front of the two was a testament of what was going on, but why was the real question. Why would a wizard wonder out of its natural setting to play a game of chess with a Muggle. From the way people around the school treated them it seemed like a crime to interact with them.

"Over an hour now." Sighed Havoc observing the game half-heartedly. Ed gave whistle. "You what's the score?"

"Zero to zero. This is still the first game." Indicated Havoc in a amazed tone. It sounded as if he didn't know whether to be surprised or disturbed. Mustang didn't get a chance to response.

"Hey guys what's going on?" Came the voice Kain Fuery coming back from walking Black Hayate. Havoc, Ed and Roy's head turned to greet Kain as he came jogging over. Breda and the other redheaded child where too absorbed in his game to greet Kain. Not seeming to care about being ignored by Breda Kain trotted up right next to Breda.

"Looks intense." Commented Kain lightly. Breda made a tch in the back of his throat. Being the ever curious and loving puppy his was Black Hayate wanted to know what was happening on the table too. Using the edge of the bench as support Black Hayate got on his hind legs to give Breda a good lick on the hand. There was a second the world stood still, well it did to Breda. He knew the second it happened what had happened. The monstrosity that Colonel Mustang allowed to wander around had just tasted him. The thing was making sure he tasted good before attempting to eat him. Every nerve was firing by this point. He had to get away. He had to get away! HE HAD TO GET AWAY!

And he did. Sadly in his hysteria to put distance between him and the dog Breda actually sent pieces of the chess board flying. Leaving his new found chess rival blinking in the after math.

"Well that was weird." Commented Havoc as everyone nodded.

* * *

I thought it would be interesting the minor yet interesting differences in the two cultures. A filler chapter to prove I am still with the land of the living and haven't given up on this story. Roy's entire career is on finding this perfect W.I.T so be mindful of his attitude. As for the Alchemy…chill already. I want it to be such a profound wake up call for the Wizards that Alchemy in Amestres is not a toy. Something like all hell breaks loose is more my style. Sorry to keep you waiting, but you can't rush art.


	14. Maes Hughes

My schedule: 2300-0700 work. Mon/Wed: 1700-2100 school, also Fri 0900-1300 school

I wanted Maes' eyes to be green so there is some literary license there. Un-betad: 7-25-10

* * *

Friday there was a fierce whisper concerning the small blond alchemist. Happy that the whispers where not concerning him Harry rather enjoyed the Muggle presence. Halfheartedly Harry polished off toast before going to the restroom. Leaving Hermione and Ron to finish their food Harry exited the Great Hall. When Harry was leaving the second floor when he heard laughing. Sitting at his usual spot was the Muggle Havoc normally the man sat alone on his step, but today he had company. With a flick of his own cigarette the back the new Muggle flicked off the ember to pocket the filter. Turning the man looked directly at Harry.

The man's stubbled face broke into a wide grin, green eyes alit with mischief. The Muggle reached forward and gabbed Harry's arm. The taller man spun Harry around threw an arm around his shoulder pulled a camera from who knows where.

"Smile." Commanded the odd man before taking the picture. Harry blinked as the man hurried off towards the Great Hall. A stifled chuckle from Havoc brought him back to reality.

"Don't worry. He's had all his shots. I promise."

Harry didn't give a reply before following the direction the odd gentlemen went in.

* * *

"HI ROY!" Shouted Maes Hughes the second he walked into the Great Hall. Many of the remaining students watched Maes' progress across the Great Hall. Ignoring them Maes plopped right where Edward would usually sit for meals.

"Your so noisy." Chided Roy. Maes just chuckled as he pulled the usually stack of pictures of his family. Before he could even begin to ramble when there was a funny noise behind him. Sounded like someone was trying to clear their throat. Turning Maes saw rather odd looking wizard, or were the women called witches? It was really hard to remember these little details.

"Yes?" Asked Maes breaking into a toothy grin. The woman returned the smile, yet it did not seem to suit her.

"You are?" She asked in an equally unfitting sweet voice.

"Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes. And what's your name?" He asked pleasantly. He even had his hand out in a gesture of friendliness. She did not take his hand. She glared at offending appendage and proceeded to introduce herself.

"I am Delores Umbridge. High Inquisitor, Senior Undersecretary, and Defenses Against the Dark Arts Professor."

'Say that five times fast.' Thought Maes.

"What do you have there?" Asked the Umbridge woman pointing to the pictures Maes had out. Smiling Maes began his Central famous rant.

"Oh these are pictures of my little girl and wife. Is Elicia so cu-"

"Do you make it a habit to carry around a camera with you?" Asked the woman viciously.

"Yes. Why?" Asked Maes slightly putout. Umbridge didn't seem to like that answer.

"The use of photography is forbidden within the grounds of Hogwarts." Snapped Umbridge. A second past as the statement hung in the air. Then with a simpering smile she added. "Its merely a safety precaution for the students. I'm sure you understand." Maes gave her a hard look. Umbridge's shoes clopped off leaving the Amestres table silent. There was a beat of silence before Roy decided to ask.

"You already took a picture didn't you?"

"Four actually."

Roy gave a exaggerated sigh.

"Between you and Fullmetal I'm going to go gray before my time."

"Speaking of the pipsqueak." Interrupted Maes once again with prattle "Where is the little guy at anyway?"

"Fullmetal is in Central." Blinked Roy in confusion.

"WHAT!" Yelled Maes so loud the Great Hall went silent. "How long?" Asked Maes his voice as sharp and cold as his fighting knives.

"Since 0600."

"Is there a problem?" Asked the voice of Umbridge.

"Is there a way to contact Central City from here?" Asked Maes ignoring Roy's confused stare.

"Well we do have a lovely owl system upstairs. Was is this all about?" Informed Umbridge showing her odd teeth.

"Don't you have anything that's a little faster? Like a phone or something?" Asked Maes.

"I'm sure if you send your letter now it will be there in a few hours." The sweetness was gone from her voice. "What's this all about anyway?"

"Dammit! We don't have a few hours! Scar would have killed Ed by then!" Snapped Maes. Roy's narrow eyes widened.

"The Keyport! Can't we just get another one?" Asked Roy. If Scar was in Central and Ed was wandering around alone that spelt trouble.

"_Portkeys _are a highly controlled system of travel. You _team_ has been authorized only two for today. The next Portkey will be on Sunday." Snapped Umbridge. Keeping their tempers in check Roy and Maes turned to one another.

"Seeing as we have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it in get the team started on the paperwork. I will be sending a letter to Central." Instructed Roy getting up. Giving a mock salute Maes helped himself to a slice of toast.

"I heard somebody say the 'P' word." Commented Havoc trying to lighten the mood. Catching on Maes smiled widely.

* * *

Central City was oddly warm for the time of year it was. Then again Central was famous for its mild weather. Grumpy from his lack of sleep Ed slumped down the street towards his hotel. Since Ed was scheduled to return to the school for almost two days he booked a room. Chewing on a sub sandwich he purchased at the local delicatessen Ed sat on a park bench. Halfway through the sandwich Ed's head hit the bench.

Pigeons flocked around the fallen meal just before an enormous shadow sent them scattering.

* * *

"What's all this Maes?" Asked Roy. It was Saturday morning and the school was virtually empty.

"Helpful suggestions from the higher ups of course." Replied back Maes. The backlog from all the unsigned papers from before Roy was transferred had finally found there way to him. The entire team, plus Maes, was signing furiously all around the room. With a noise of inrration Roy began ripping open each letter to only burn it.

"So how goes the witty trials?" Asked Maes ignoring his stack of work.

"So far we have decided on a series of tests based off of what the school already teaches. We have divided the tests into four categories. Each series of tests will help us create a score for each student which ever student has the most points we will pick." Explained Roy still alternating between burning and reading letters.

"Sounds complicated." Muttered Maes messing with his pen.

"The only complicated thing about it is getting through all the red tape around here." Trailed off Roy as he stopped to actually read the letter in his hands. With a rare real smile Roy called for everyone's attention.

"It appears Fullmetal had fallen asleep on his way back to his hotel. It is most fortunate that he was found by military personnel in time." Roy announced.

"Who sent the letter?" Asked Hawkeye.

"Alex Louis Armstrong."


	15. For the Fans

Dear Loyal Readers,

I regret to inform you that I will no longer be updating this story. However just because I will not be writing doesn't mean this story won't go on. If anyone wishes to adopt this work of fiction please tell me such and tell me where you plan to go with it.

It's been a good ten years but I am done writing fanfiction. Instead I will focus on original works. So until we met again See yah Space Cowboy/Cowgirl!

Sincerely Siv, the Fish


End file.
